Here We Are Again
by Politelycynical
Summary: Quistis is drawn to Seifer. (Warning: explicit)
1. Dominance

**Here We Are Again**

**Chapter 1:**

**Dominance (noun)** – control or command wielded over others.

Morning light cascaded across the room. Seifer opened his eyes and glanced around his Class A SeeD dormitory. He had a living area, a sleeping area, a kitchenette, and his own private bathroom. It was actually pretty glamorous for a military issued suite.

He sat up and heard a sigh beside him as the world came into a sharper focus. Quistis Trepe was fighting against consciousness. Her blonde hair was soft against his bare chest. He thought that her pale skin looked lovely against the warm tan color of his linens.

He smiled, and leaned over her. He pressed his lips lightly against her own. As she began to stir, he deepened the kiss. She kept her eyes closed, but opened her mouth willingly in response. He ran his hand through her hair and held it at the nape of her neck.

He pulled back and smiled at her as she opened her eyes to the day.

She hid in the blankets. The room was chilly, but the bed was cozy.

"Good morning," she whispered.

Seifer ran his warm hand up her sheet covered waist. "Morning." His voice was still rough from sleep.

She sat up and looked at his clock. 7:08AM

She glanced around his disheveled room. "Here we are again." Her shirt was on the back of his sofa. His trademark trench coat lay in an unceremonious heap by the door. Boots and heels were scattered across the living area.

He followed her gaze. "Yep. Again." He gave her a devious smirk as he looked at the mess that they had made.

She held the sheet close to her body as she searched around the floor for her panties. "I have to go." She sighed.

"Right." Seifer rolled his eyes. He stood up, letting the blankets fall from him. Quistis watched him as he walked to the bathroom and shut the door. His skin was golden from the sun. His physique was rippled and toned. His broad shoulders tapered into a narrow torso. His legs were strong and well-developed. And his butt was…. It was nice. She ripped her eyes away from the closed door.

It had happened again. For the past two weeks she had woken up in his dorm room, gathered her clothes, and left as fast as she possibly could. He would later come to her classroom and start up some kind of small talk. She would interrupt him when they were alone and say that it couldn't happen again. It shouldn't.

He would agree whole heartedly, but it always ended the same way. Either he would come by her room with some excuse for her to come with him ("I need help reviewing for my class", "You left your contact solution at my place.", "I just bought some expensive wine in Balamb today"), or she would lay in her room staring at the ceiling before calling up his phone to see if it was okay if she came by.

But she always ended up waking up to his dormitory the next day. And she always ended up hating herself for her lack of will.

It was like she didn't have control over her own body anymore.

She heard the water turn off in the bathroom. She quickly grabbed her clothes and began putting them on as fast as humanly possible. She put her arms through the straps of her bra and reached behind her to fastened it. Then she slid her underwear up her hips.

The door opened. She looked around for her pants. She was sure she was wearing pants before she got here last night.

Hands slid down her waist and rest against her hips. _Too late._

Seifer ground his bare pelvis against her well rounded butt, and whispered gruffly into her ear, "Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer?"

She felt a familiar fire ignite between her legs as he walked his finger tips down the fronts of her thighs. "Seifer. I have to teach a class at 8. I still need to go back to my room and shower and change clothes." She rattled off her reasons as she pleaded with him. She knew that if he continued touching her that way, there would be no resisting him.

She knew that, and so did he. He let his fingertips ghost across her skin and come up under her eagerly awaiting breasts.

"And I probably need to eat sometime today." She whimpered as he continued his ministrations. She leaned back into him.

He turned her around so that they were facing and grinned at her before sinking to his knees and placing hot openmouthed kisses across the top most parts of her thighs. "Okay." He whispered against her skin, never breaking eye contact.

She tried to find some kind of intelligent thought to respond with. "…okay?" She questioned.

He rose back to his feet and reached into his piled up comforter to retrieve her jeans. "Yeah. It seems like you have a busy morning ahead of you."

She looked at him, flabbergasted as her body twisted and turned on the inside begging to be touched. Her mouth hung open as she stared ravenously at him. Her eyes trailed from his broad bronzed shoulders to his fully-erect member then back up to his _stupid_ face.

His smirk betrayed him. _He damn well knew what he was doing. _

Ugh. She was so infuriated with him.

He would work her up and then act like whatever they had going on didn't even affect him. Like he could just walk away at any time.

She snatched her jeans out of his outstretched hand. "I'm leaving." She said coldly as she pulled them on.

He smiled at her antics. "Don't get mad."

"I'm not." She spat.

He stilled her shaking hands that were fumbling to get her jeans buttoned. She met his steady gaze, feeling so frazzled and worked up and so mad at him.

She would not be coming back. She wouldn't even open her door later tonight when he inevitably showed up. She would be strong and resist this dark pull that he seemed to have on her.

And then he crashed his lips into hers. Just like that her resolve crumbled. She responded without any resistance. He worked all of her clothing back off of her body as they fell back into his bed.

Seifer hitched her leg up on his waist and entered her skillfully. She covered her mouth with her hand as she was once again thrown into sweet, sweet ecstasy.

He always knew just what she wanted. Just what she needed. He was consuming her. Every moan that she breathed into his kisses seemed to urge him to push harder, to bring her closer, and to melt away any coherent thought that she could possibly have about this moment.

This moment was just for them. Whatever issues they seemed to have getting along and being civil were lost when they were together in this way. Their bodies knew what to do, how to respond, and how to make it feel better and better each time.

Quistis was arching into him, and he could tell that she was close. Her gasps were getting to be more and more airy with each thrust. He slowed his pace and smirked. Her eyes snapped open. Their icy depths glaring as she was denied and teased away from her climax. He leaned in and kissed her deeply, his rhythm was tortuously slow.

"You're a sadistic bastard." She rasped. Seifer nodded, his smirk never leaving his face, his intense eyes never leaving hers.

He pulled slowly out and then began his villainous track back, using his strength to press deeper into her than before. She gasped loudly as her pleasures began to recharge from these new depths. He watched every emotion play across her lovely face. Her skin was pink, and she was biting her lip. Her hair was fanned out all around her, her breasts were rubbing against his chest, and her hips were pushing against him, begging for more. He pulled slowly back out. She groaned loudly as the cruel process began again. He loved playing with her, teasing her into insanity before he would blow her mind with another soul-rattling orgasm.

"Please", she breathed in earnest, meeting his emerald eyes.

A genuine smile grazed his features as he leaned in and kissed her fully. He stopped his lower ministrations completely as she melted into his kiss. They were still connected. Unfulfilled, but connected.

Her skin was hot, and her patience was thin. But his kisses were apologetic and passionate.

She ran her fingertips through his short, military cropped hair. It was mussed from the night before. He continued kissing her with a gentleness that many probably didn't think he was capable of.

Suddenly, just as she was growing lazily euphoric from their languid pace, he sat up and hoisted her long legs higher around his waist. He smirked, grabbed her hips for more power, and thrust robustly into her.

The new angle combined with the power behind it was her undoing. Within seconds she met her end, breathing out his name and touching any part of him that she could reach.

Her body quivered all around him, pulling him with her into oblivion.

The earth was still. Autumn leaves stopped falling, holding their unnatural positions midair above the awaiting ground. Waves ceased their continuous attacks on the shore.

Seifer held himself above her as his breathing steadied. He smiled and kissed her hot skin. Quistis hummed a small sound in reply. He rolled off of her, and they both sighed as they were disconnected.

And then the world continued to spin.

**Words : 1,444**

**Author's Note – There needs to be more Quistis and Seifer fanfiction. Everyone who reads this should go write 1 more Q/S fanfiction so that we can big up this ship a little bit more :D I guess that's a little hopeful. I'm not intending for this to be a one-shot. Hopefully I'll post another chapter soon. Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated, especially ones that speculate on where the plot should be headed. I enjoy those. I'll read over this again in a couple of days to correct any errors. Normally it's hard to find them when you have just written it.**


	2. Yearning

**Chapter 2**

_**Yearning –**__A strong desire, often tinged with sadness. Longing for something._

* * *

><p>Quistis turned towards her desk and started to pack up her leather satchel for the day. Her class had been dismissed, and they were slowly filtering out into the corridor.<p>

She knew that he would be there. He was always there.

She heard the lock on the door engage. She continued to pack away essays that needed to be graded as if she hadn't detected his presence.

She felt him at her back. His large hands slid up her thighs, pulling her pencil skirt with them and his fingertips left hot tracks burned into her flesh. The air seemed to grow thicker whenever he was around.

He ghosted across her covered core before sliding his hand under the lace of her panties.

He whispered into her ear, "What if it hadn't been me, Trepe?" He teased her. "What if it had been some other guy trying to cop a feel?"

He withdrew his hand and turned her around. She looked up at him defiantly. "Why would it matter if it wasn't you?"

His face grew dark as he leaned in to kiss her lips possessively. He lifted her up onto her wooden desk and cupped her breast through her shirt. She moaned as he teased her sensitive breasts.

"No one else could make you feel this way, Quistis." He breathed into her ear as his hand reached up under her skirt.

She moaned as he began to manipulate her body. She captured his mouth with hers and kissed him heatedly as her body ignited.

He eased her panties to the side and began to pump in and out of her with his fingers. She gasped into his mouth. Then he began to rock his thumb skillfully across her clitoris.

She held onto him tightly as she felt her body start to melt away. Seifer always seemed to have that kind of effect on her.

He was holding her up when she opened her eyes again. He was watching her face with complete interest. He always looked amazed when she would get off in front of him. He watched with penetrating eyes. He never missed a moment of it.

She sat up and tried to put her clothing back in the appropriate order. He pulled his hand from under her skirt as she tried to catch her breath. She smoothed the material of her skirt back down and tried to wipe away any wrinkles.

Her voice was still raspy."So, what brings you to my classroom today, Seifer?"

They both acted as if this wasn't a routine occurrence. Every day he would come up with a new excuse. And every day she would pretend like it wasn't a big lie.

"I was down the hall filing some PT reports and decided to see if you needed any help relaxing after a hard day's work." She looked from his smirking face to the prominent bulge in his pants.

"It's not even twelve yet." She stated.

Seifer nods. "Sometimes mornings are … hard."

"You're right. Thank you for your help. It was kind of you to think of me." She smiled at the game that they played. She stepped closer to him and stared into his eyes. She let her hand trail down his chest and began to caress him through his pants. "Did you need any help… relaxing?"

He briefly closed his eyes and grabbed her butt, pulling her closer to him. "Quistis," He whispered.

She worked on his belt buckle as he captured her mouth once again.

* * *

><p>When she walked into the cafeteria, her eyes found him in the immense crowd with ease. He was sitting in the back near the windows talking to Squall and Irvine. He hadn't worn his jacket today and was wearing a fitted soft-looking blue t-shirt. Seifer never got assigned to teach classes that actually took place in a classroom, so he was often allowed to wear whatever he could comfortably run fighting drills and physical training exercises in. He laughed loudly at something that Irvine had said.<p>

Quistis grabbed her lunch from the window and walked up to her group's regular table.

"Hey, Q!" Zell said louder than necessary. Quistis winced at his volume. Zell didn't seem to notice as he dug into his plate.

Rinoa waved at her. "Hey, I came by your dorm last night, and you didn't answer."

Quistis felt her body start to tense up. "What time?" She questioned, not meeting Rinoa's eyes. Seifer held her gaze and winked at her. He was good at never getting caught flirting with her in front of their friends.

"It was like 10 o clock, I think." Rinoa was shuffling through her satchel, looking for one of her textbooks. Although Rinoa was often deployed on missions as if she were a SeeD, it was contingent on her keeping up with a full course load until it became official. She could handle herself in battle well enough, but the bureaucracy of Garden could not be ignored.

"I was still in my office grading." Quistis lied swiftly. "What did you need that late?"

"I was having trouble on some homework, but I eventually figured it out." Rinoa smiled broadly at her.

Selphie made a face. "Hyne, Quistis, you were still working at ten? That's kind of late, isn't it?" She looked as if such a thing were some kind of ungodly sin.

Quistis shook her head. "It comes with the job, I guess."

Zell glanced up from his enormous meal. "Not really. I haven't heard of many of the other instructors having to pull the kind of hours that you seem to keep."

Quistis shrugged and popped open her lunch container.

She snuck a look at Seifer again. He looked so good. She wished she had gotten to the cafeteria early enough to be able to casually sit down next to him. He always smelled heavenly.

She knew that her infatuation with him occasionally bordered on obsessive. It wasn't something that she did intentionally. Lately, it just seemed like she couldn't stop thinking about him. When she wasn't trying to find moments to sneak around with him, she was replaying encounters they had shared together in her head.

It was maddening.

He noticed her staring and bit his lip when no one else was looking at him.

_Damnit._ She willed her body to not respond to him.

She quickly looked away when he ran his tongue across his bottom lip.

The rest of the table didn't seem to notice the looks that he was giving her.

There were times when Seifer was blatantly obvious about his advances toward her in front of their friends. Earlier in the week, he had rubbed her thighs under the table for a solid ten minutes while simultaneous carrying on a boring conversation with Squall and Irvine concerning trigger mechanisms. But no one ever batted an eye at him.

For a former war-criminal, Seifer Almasy was incredibly gifted at flying under the radar.

Quistis took a sip of her water and tried to keep up with the conversation. She had already learned that it wasn't a good idea to think about Seifer in front of people. Often times her skin would get pink or she would seem oddly distracted. She needed to keep her cool in front of her friends. She often panicked that they would one day be able to put together the clues. That situation would be disastrous and it wasn't something she was willing to face any time soon.

Adrian Culman collided loudly with a cadet. Their trays made a clang that echoed through the cafeteria. Adrian told the student to watch where he was going and then made a bee line for Quistis.

She tried to prepare herself. Adrian was a research specialist with the R and D portion of Garden. He worked on new technologies. She would admit that his job sounded interesting, but Adrian was one of the most boring men that she had ever met. There was something about him that was rodent-like. He had beady eyes that were behind thick glasses. He had a long, pointed nose and chin-length black hair that always seemed to be coated in product or maybe just some kind of slime. None of these were attractive qualities to her. But the fact that he seemed to relentlessly ask Quistis out on dates and make stumbling passes at her had to be the worst fact about him.

She tried to keep the annoyance off of her face. This really wasn't something that she wanted to deal with today.

"Quistis!" Although he had walked all the way across the cafeteria to talk to her, Adrian still pretended like he had just noticed her.

She chanced a look at Seifer, who was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. His eyes twinkled in amusement. Everyone else watched in horror.

"Good Afternoon, Adrian." She answered quietly.

He adjusted his glasses and pulled a seat up next to her. It was a pretty tight fit since their table was already crowded. He struggled as his chair legs seemed to get hung on everything. Finally he sat down and looked deeply into her eyes.

She heard Zell whisper to Rinoa "Here it comes…" in anticipation for the freak show that was about to take place.

"I was wondering if you would like to have dinner in Balamb with me tonight?" He pushed his black hair away from his face, revealing his weasel-like features.

"Adrian, I—" she started.

He quickly interrupted her (something that bothered Quistis greatly), "I know that you are a busy woman Quistis," he leaned in closer to her. Quistis pulled back as much as she could under the tight, crammed conditions of their lunch table. "But you cannot deny the attraction that you and I share. I think that you just need to give me a chance to prove my worth to you." He whispered to her.

She waited before responding. He had already interrupted her, so she decided to make him wait for an answer. "I am just so tired," She started. She heard Seifer snicker across the table. "I've just been so busy with work lately. I don't think I should go to Balamb tonight."

"I could cook for you at my place then." He said hopefully.

Quistis started to shake her head. "I don't think that –"

Seifer laughed loudly across the table. Adrian tore his eyes away from her to find the disturbance. "Is there a problem?" He asked Seifer.

"I was just thinking that Quistis coming over to your place would only end one way." Seifer smiled sardonically before continuing. "You would get handsy and sexually assault her because . . . well, look at you" Seifer gestured to Adrian's appearance. "and then she would kick your ass because she actually has field experience."

The table was silent. Squall raised a gloved hand to cover his mouth.

Adrian turned red. "I would never do that!" He was obviously embarrassed.

Seifer rolled his eyes. "You already kind of are assaulting her. Hyne, you're over here every other day." Seifer shook his head. "Do you really think she wants you oozing over here asking her out for the hundredth time?" Adrian started to answer, but Seifer quickly cut him off. "She doesn't. And honestly, you are kind of creepy."

Zell snorted through his nose trying not to laugh.

Adrian looked at her. Quistis quickly looked away from him before trying to handle the situation with a little more tact. "Adrian, I am busy all this week." It was an obvious lie, but at least she was letting him down easy. Again.

He nodded and quickly left their table, not looking back.

Rinoa glared at Seifer. "That was so mean, Seifer!"

Irvine jumped into the conversation. "Nah, that needed to be done."

Squall laughed a little. "I agree."

Seifer nodded at them, thankful for their support. "Yeah, you should really bump up the security on your room, Quistis."

Quistis shook her head at him, but smiled. "Adrian is harmless, Seifer."

Seifer raised his eyebrows. "Harmless? That is the kind of man that is going to attack you in your sleep. Take my word for it."

Rinoa shook her head. "He's not creepy, he was just uncomfortable because we were all staring at him!" She liked to see the best in people. "And now he's probably completely humiliated." She sympathized.

Seifer shrugged. "If that guy was talking to you like that every day, Rin, you bet that Leonhart over here would have said that same damn thing."

Quistis froze. Seifer had just drawn a parallel assumption that the two of them shared the same kind of relationship as Rinoa and Squall. She snuck a look to see if anyone else had caught his slip-up.

As always, no one else seemed to notice.

Squall nodded. "I think I would have been worse, maybe."

Seifer pointed at Squall, acknowledging his support on the matter.

Selphie leaned against her elbow. "Still, Seifer, if you think that he's so dangerous, why would you publically embarrass him like that?"

"What's he going to do? Hit me over the head with his microscope?" Everyone laughed.

Quistis quietly ate her meal. "Of course there are other consequences." She spoke up. "Now I have no one to cook me dinner tonight." She joked.

Everyone continued to laugh and joke around. They didn't notice Seifer smiling at her from across the table. Nor did they feel the electricity pass between the two blondes as they stared at each other.

* * *

><p>Quistis strolled to the library. She had just enough time before her afternoon PT sessions to grab some material for her lectures later this week.<p>

She felt someone jog up beside her.

Seifer put his hand on her back. "Hey there, beautiful." He whispered. To anyone else they just looked like two faculty members having a conversation.

Quistis kept walking. "I don't have time right now, Seifer."

He laughed. "I'm not here to drag you into a closet again, Quistis." He stopped her in the middle of the hall and pulled her to the side. "I just wanted to make sure that I didn't embarrass you at lunch."

She felt a smile creep onto her face. "You didn't." She touched his hand subtly. "It was kind of nice seeing you yell at a guy for hitting on me."

They let their hands fall as a crowd of students walked by. "I did cost you your dinner plans though." He reasoned.

Quistis quickly jumped in. "I was obviously kidding about that. I would have never said yes to him."

Seifer smirked. "Still. I should make it up to you. Come by my place later. I can cook dinner for you instead." He suggested. He looked at her hopefully.

"O-okay," she stammered. "That would be really nice." She felt herself blush.

He beamed widely at her. "Alright. I'll see you then." He touched her hand once more before jogging off to the Balamb entrance.

* * *

><p>It wasn't really unusual for her to come by his place at night. In fact, it wasn't even unusual for them to share a meal together. Over the last month, there had been many nights where after fooling around they would order a pizza from Balamb and lay wrapped up in blankets on his couch. They would watch television or argue about Triple Triad until they fell asleep.<p>

But there was something about the way that he had asked her. He had never pulled her aside and asked her to dinner. It was all very formal.

She had felt nervous about it for the rest of the day. She had stumbled through her evening class's PT training before practically running back to her dorm to get ready.

She had agonized over what to wear. She didn't want to show up looking too dressy, because he might make fun of her if she misinterpreted tonight. But she also didn't want to wear what she would any other night, because the situation felt like so much more than just another rendezvous.

She had finally settled on a gray blouse that showed a little cleavage, and one of her more flowy work-skirts. She finished the outfit off with red teardrop earrings and red "screw-me" heels.

She took a deep breath and knock tentatively on his door.

He opened the door almost immediately and stepped aside to grant her entry.

He was wearing a soft-looking dark blue sweater. It strained across his well-defined chest in a really nice way.

She could smell some kind of delicious pasta wafting across the room. There were candles lit on his kitchen small table and around the living room. He had put a red handkerchief over one of his lamps, which gave everything in the room a warm rosy hue.

_Huh._ _Maybe he actually had been asking her out on a date. _

He took the bottle of wine from her as she entered and kissed her softly. "You look great." He whispered into her ear.

"So do you." She blushed. "This place looks incredible. You really out-did yourself."

"Well I did cost you a date with Balamb's most eligible bachelor." He joked. "So I figured I should try to make myself a little more likable. I almost wore a giant pair of dorky glasses, but I figured that would be a little over the top." He pulled out her chair for her before grabbing their plates from the kitchen.

She laughed at the image of Seifer Almasy wearing glasses. He uncorked the wine and poured generous amounts into their glasses. "It would have been the perfect finishing touch."

"You would have called me out on acting desperate." He quipped.

He seemed to be in such an incredible mood. At times he was broody. Sometimes, he tried to provoke any kind of reaction out of her. But her favorite Seifer was when he was joking around and giving her warm smiles that seemed to heat up her entire body from the inside-out.

He sat down in front of her and they began eating.

She crossed her ankles under the table. "You slipped up today." She observed.

He gave her a sideways, confused smile. "When did I slip up?" He asked.

"You pretty much compared us to Squall and Rinoa, remember?"

He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"You said that if Adrian had made a pass at Rinoa, Squall wouldn't have had any mercy on him either." She explained.

Seifer laughed in realization. "Oh wow, you're right. It's a good thing that our friends are a bunch of morons."

She smiled. "Yes." She said, sitting up with perfect posture. "They didn't notice at all."

A silence passed over them. Quistis could feel pressure to keep the conversation going and blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. "What do you think would happen if they knew that we were seeing each other?"

He sat his fork down, wiped his mouth on his napkin and looked at her. "What do you mean?"

She quickly tried to explain herself. She suddenly felt much less at ease. "If this wasn't some big secret." She gestured to the two of them. "What consequence could it possibly have?"

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, besides everyone knowing our business? They would probably ask us to stop." He reasoned.

She crossed her arms and quirked her eyebrow. "Why would they even care? Wouldn't they be happy for us?"

"Well, being friends with me is one thing." His said seriously, "But sleeping with me is another matter entirely. I hardly think that Leonhart and the others would be _happy_ that you're having sex with a former traitor."

"You're not like that anymore." She said simply, defending him.

"It doesn't matter." He shook his head. "You know that I'm right." He insisted.

She grew quiet as she considered it. They _probably_ would be mad. Zell would insist that she was throwing her life away. Rinoa and Selphie would explain that there were plenty of other guys that weren't still wanted in other countries. Garden may have forgiven Seifer, but the rest of the world wasn't nearly as understanding.

Irvine would probably be okay with it.

"An eventually," Seifer explained, "you would cave into them."

She scoffed at him. "You think that my loyalties are so easily swayed?"

Seifer smiled at her. "No, I don't." He took a large sip of his drink. "But I don't think that you're ready to cause tensions with all of your closest friends just so you and I can keep fucking." He started to clear their plates away. "It's not like I'm your boyfriend or anything."

He carried their plates to the sink.

_So... She guessed this wasn't a date after all._

* * *

><p>Word Count: 3,479<p>

Notes: Thanks for the reviews from the previous chapter. This one isn't quiet as juicy, but it can't all be juicy, people! But I promise where will eventually be… juice, you know? This is a rather long chapter for me. I had it written a couple different ways before deciding on this. What do you think?


	3. Truth

**Chapter 3**

_**Truth – **__the actual facts, not what people believe_

She could hear plates clinking in the kitchen as Seifer tidied up his kitchen. She felt a migraine coming on. The candlelight felt like it was burning a hole through her retinas and out the back of her skull. The whole room was tinted red from Seifer's makeshift moodlighting. She suddenly felt like she was in some kind of cheesy horror movie right before the murder scene. She felt like she was going to be sick. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom.

The bathroom felt smaller than usual, like it was suffocating her. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"I need to get the hell out of here." She whispered to her own reflection.

Her head was swimming from the wine that she had earlier in their conversation. She wiped cold water across her neck. As she looked back into the mirror, she gasped a little. For a second she had seen 17 year old Quistis staring back at her, wearing glasses with her uniform following the Garden Code to the letter.

She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the image to go away.

She jumped when she heard someone knock on the door.

"Are you okay in there, Trepe?" Seifer called out from the hallway.

Her reflection had transformed back into her usual self. Her hair was messed up, her make up was a little smeared, and her eyes looked.. so upset.

"I'm fine." She called back to him.

She couldn't figure this out in this tiny bathroom. She needed to put on a brave face and go. She needed an excuse and a plan.

_Garden Code, Field Rules, 12:2 – A competent SeeD should always have a mission plan created before they act. Consider the consequences of each action, and then pick the course that will yield the best results._

She ran her fingers through her hair to get the curls she had put in earlier to look like more than frizzy waves. Then, she fixed her makeup.

She took a deep breath and put on the best smile she could muster.

She opened the door, and stepped back into the living room. Seifer looked at her with concerned eyes. "You were in there a while. Are you alright?" He asked. His face seemed twisted to her, like it wasn't exactly the same as the last time she had looked at him. It felt inhuman, like some kind of alien or monster was pretending to be Seifer. She was sure that her mind was playing tricks on her from the unnatural lighting.

She shook her head. "I'm just feeling a little sick." She admitted.

"From the food?" He reached out and touched her hand. He looked guilty. He had cooked, after all.

She pulled her hand away and pretended like she was pulling a thread off of her skirt. "From the wine, I think."

He looked at her sympathetically. "We could just watch television a little while until you feel better." He suggested. "I could grab you something more comfortable to wear from my room."

"No." She said harshly. He raised his eyebrows at her tone. She quickly continued. "I mean, no thank you. That won't be necessary. I think that I should just go back to my room and sleep it off."

"I'll walk you back then." He turned to grab his room key from the coffee table.

"I'll be fine by myself." She reasoned. "It's not that far away." She didn't want him coming with her. The whole point was to get away from him.

"Are you sure, Quistis? If you're sick, you could pass out in the hallway or something before you got there." She met his gaze with an unyielding expression.

"I'll be fine." She said simply. He looked confused. She needed a different tactic.

"I'm sorry, Seifer. Thank you for worrying about me. I'm not trying to be rude," She paused and affectionately took his hand in hers. "I just want to go back to my room. I don't feel well."

He ran his hand up her arm. "I just don't understand why you are so against me walking you home." He rubbed her shoulder.

She shook her head at him. "Someone might see us together." She insisted.

He surrendered. "Alright." He leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek. "But you still owe me, Trepe."

"Owe you what, exactly?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.

He smirked as he walked her to the door. "Hot post-dinner sex, of course. I expect to be rewarded for being so romantic tonight."

She forced herself to laugh at him. "No, no, no, no, no." She wagged her finger at him. "You wanted to have an Adrian-style dinner. Dinner with Adrian would not have included sex."

Seifer tilted his head. "I guess I can't argue with that kind of logic." He wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "I'll just have to figure out some other way to get you on all fours." He whispered into her ear.

She stepped back from him. "Good night, Seifer."

She quickly left his apartment.

She walked as quickly as she could around the corner. She weaved her way through the maze of student and faculty dormitories. When she felt like she had put enough distance between herself and _him_, she stopped and leaned up against the cool, metal wall.

Thankfully, the corridors were deserted.

She looked down at her red heels. Had they always been so garish and tacky? They screamed "desperate for attention".

She quickly stepped out of them and let them hang limply at her sides as she walked barefoot through the hallway.

When did she start to think of Seifer as her boyfriend? She knew the way that it had started.

At first, it had just been an idea.

_Fucking Seifer Almasy had seemed like a wrench that she could throw into the machine of her perfectly, boring life. She had been out for a run one morning, and she found him sitting at the beach watching the surf. He had his shirt off and was leaned back into the sand. The morning Balamb sun radiated across his bare chest._

_He had looked so warm. _

_And right then she had realized how cold she felt all the time. Her whole life had become a series of procedures that were devoid of passion. She felt like she was always alone. And the worst part was that she wasn't ever even sad about it. Loneliness had become such a constant in her life that she had stopped feeling anything at all. The dull ache had been pushed deep into her subconscious. It was locked away from even a passing thought. _

_It was only when she saw Seifer, a man that was torn by the savagery of war, enjoying the morning that she realized anything was missing. He had been to hell and back, but he loved being alive. He had made mistakes, been possessed by the devil, and somehow fought his way back to his dream. He had reenrolled in school, proved his innocence, reclaimed his friends, and passed his field exam with flying colors. He had ripped his way up through the ranks and became one of the top ranking SeeDs in Balamb Garden. And then, he had surprised everyone by snagging an Instructor's license. _

_And while Quistis's own life had grown stagnant, he had thrived. _

_As she stood there on the beach, Quistis had realized that life felt wasted on her. What was the point of living if you never felt any joy? Did a robot deserve to stand in the sun?_

_Seifer had noticed her standing there, her eyes filled with sudden realization. He stood up and walked across the beach to her. _

"_Instructor," He had greeted her silkily. "What are you –"_

_Without thinking, she had crashed her frozen lips into his. _

_When she pulled away, he had looked at her with confusion for a split second before his eyes burned with lust. Before she knew it, Seifer had her pinned into the sand, devouring her mouth with his. He had hiked her leg up onto his hip and ground his pelvis mercilessly against her core through her black shorts. _

_He rubbed her breast skillfully through her white tank top and made her whimper beneath him. _

_She locked her other leg around his and pivoted her hips to roll them over. They both began to hurriedly remove the layers that were separating their bodies. Her clothing lay abandoned in the white sand. _

_She knew this was what she needed. Seifer was thriving. He was warm and inviting. She sank down onto his eager erection. Her head spun as she felt her body heat up from the inside outward. _

"_Oh my god, Quistis." He had whispered up at her. He closed his eyes and bucked up into her forcefully. _

_He had been bigger than any man she had ever been with. Her body protested at his girth. Her eyes saw starlight in the daytime._

_She had rode him at a gallop on the beach until they had both collapsed into the sand. Seifer had whispered to her and stared up at her in worship. The humid air from the ocean seemed to sizzle against their fatigued bodies. _

Quistis slid her keycard into the slot when she got to her room. Her doors whished open mechanically.

_And then she had started aching for him. _

She was pulled out of her recollection as she stared around her Garden issued apartment. There were clothes lying all over the place. It looked neglected.

"I guess I really haven't been here long enough lately to notice." She had made a habit of only coming by her room to change clothes quickly in the mornings. She grabbed her laundry basket from her closet and began to pick up all of the articles of clothing from around the room as she continued to try to remember.

_And then she had started aching for him._

_She would feel ashamed after they would fuck, but there was something about Seifer that made her feel alive. _

_As her body would start to freeze up again she would think of the sweet relief she could have with him. He made her feel sexy and wanted. It was like she had a place in the world again. _

_Sure, strictly speaking she was still alone, but so was he. They were alone together._

She pulled off her skirt and stepped into the shower, letting the water run down her body. She wished that the events of the night would wash away from her too, and be lost in the drain.

_And then her shame started to lessen. If being with Seifer made her feel this good… could it really be wrong? Maybe this was exactly what she was meant to be doing, and exactly who she was meant to be with._

She wished that she could forget.

_She wished that she could forget._

_She would lie to herself. She would think of it as a mutual need that they both shared. Seifer had never said that he needed her, but he must, right? Why else would he keep coming back to her? Why else would he look for her in the middle of the day and the night?_

_She kept repeating it to herself and eventually everything started to change. What they were doing wasn't sneaking around to screw behind everyone's backs. They were making love. They were touching each other in ways that only they knew. The things that he made her feel, the way that he looked at her, the way he would try to protect her against others… All of these were the glue that held her perfectly constructed lie together._

_He cared for her, and she knew that she was falling in love with him. _

She stared into the mirror. She heard her A/C unit kick on. Cold air blew over her wet body.

Her face felt cold. She looked in the mirror, shocked. She was crying. She quickly wiped her face off on a towel.

It hadn't been real. It was a lie.

"_It's not like I'm your boyfriend or anything."_

And he was right. He had never been hers. She had pretended so that she wouldn't feel like a whore everyday.

And she had lied to herself when she decided to start loving him.

It had just been sex. Anything else that had happened between them was just a string of clues that she had made fit together into a misshapen puzzle. Her "Ah-ha" moments were just convenient fabrications.

_Ah-ha! He doesn't want other men to have you. He must love you after all, Quistis._

_Ah-ha! He said that he's been thinking about having your legs wrapped around him all day. He can't get you off his mind, Quistis._

_Ah-ha! A fucking candle lit dinner at his place? He couldn't be more obvious. _

And now the reality had reared its ugly head. The rose-colored window she had been watching her life play out through had shattered. The unfiltered light was too bright, it was blinding. She was forced to view the real world around her, and everything had taken on a more haunting quality than it had yesterday.

If she could just forget, she could put up the walls that she had trusted for years. She could hide from this familiar pain that was ripping her chest to pieces.

She sat on her bed in the dark and covered her mouth as a sob wretched out of her.

But the lie that she had made up had seemed too good to be true. In her mind, she had loved and been loved.

If his had been a convenient story, maybe hers could be too.

Maybe she had never cared for him at all.

She would need a new story. She needed a new window to look out of.

Maybe she had been using him all along? She had been trying to steal the energy that poured off of him to fuel her own needs. She had fucked Seifer Almasy because it was thrilling. She had fucked him because..

because..

because a dirty, degrading affair had seemed better than just being her. She would have rather been on her hands and knees with Seifer holding her hips and pounding into her from behind than having to spend one more moment alone in her room.

But did she still even want that?

* * *

><p><strong>Words<strong>: 2442

**Notes**: Yikes. After I wrote this, I read a review that said "overly dramatic seifer and quistis is so overdone". Then I laughed and stared at the super heart-breaking and dramatic chapter I had already written and was like "Damnit." Sorry about that.

So, while writing this I am constantly trying to dive a little deeper with my symbolism and writing style. But then I think about "What if I were to read this fiction without any prior knowledge? Would I even notice the nuances that the author had pained to place just so?" So I'm going to just come right out and say it. I really enjoyed striking a contrast in this chapter. I juxtaposed the horrific imagery and awkwardness from her break down in his room with the peacefulness and feverish passion when they were first together on the beach. The aftermath of their dinner was supposed to make you feel sick. Like the world was twisting around you or maybe something just wasn't right about it. It's like it was an alien trying to imitate what our world was like, but he made little mistakes that made you feel uneasy. This scene also contrasts with the dinner scene from the previous chapter, where the same room was described with the same characteristics, but in the previous chapter it was all romantic, glowing, and perfect. The beach scene flashback was a huge change in imagery. In the beach scene everything was warm and inviting. I really enjoyed writing things that were so different in one sitting.

One last thing, I've thought of the title as a working title this whole time. Does anyone have an idea for a better one?


	4. Camaraderie

**Chapter 4**

**Camaraderie –**_ a feeling of close friendship and trust_

* * *

><p>Quistis felt groggy the next morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and the small island of Balamb was bustling with energy.<p>

And she was miserable. She had tossed and turned the entire night. It had been a while since she had slept away from Seifer. The room had felt too quiet. She had stared up at the ceiling for hours trying to push away the unsettling feeling of being alone.

She rolled out of bed and winced as her feet touched the chilly floor. Her head throbbed as the glaring sunlight poured through her window. She glanced at her small steel digital clock that sat on her nightstand. 9:24 AM. Saturday.

What the hell was she supposed to do for a whole weekend? She had plans the night before. She was going to barricade the two of them in his room, have lots of sex, and watch TV until they ran out of food. It was going to be the perfect weekend.

But now that plan was a bust. She didn't want to go back over there. At least not until she figured out how she felt about the situation.

She walked to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. She hoped that the water would make her feel more awake. Maybe the relaxing stream would shut off her mind enough to figure some things out. It would give her a sudden epiphany and sooth all of her worries.

She stood under the moderately warm water waiting for an answer to pop into her head.

_Damnit._

She sighed. Well, it was worth a shot. She washed up quickly, wrapped a towel around her body and sat down in front of her laptop.

1 new email.

From: S_Almasy 

To: Q_Trepe 

Subject: Feeling better?

I didn't want to call in case you were still feeling sick from last night. I figured you might want to sleep in today.

I'm going for a run this morning, but I'll be back in my room by 11 probably. You should come over.

I have something to talk to you about. It's important.

Hint: The _important something _involves spankings and no clothing.

-S

She sighed. That _did_ sound fun. But she couldn't trust herself today. She still felt vulnerable, and she knew that she couldn't just ignore the way she felt the night before.

More sex with Seifer would only lead to heartache right now.

From: Q_Trepe 

To: S_Almasy 

Subject: Re: Feeling better?

Spankings? Would I be the one doing the spanking? Something tells me you would like it.

But as fun as that sounds, I already promised Xu some girl time. We're going to meet up for trash talk and junk food.

-Q

She stared at the screen, agonizing over her wording and then clicked Send. She quickly shut her laptop. If he happened to reply, she would rather not read it.

She glanced at her clock. 10:13 AM. Saturday.

_Only 46 more hours until work. _

That was a hell of a lot of time to kill.

Her brain throbbed in her skull. She held it between her hands.

Maybe she actually could go hang out with Xu? She hadn't seen Xu the past couple of weeks. They were normally very close, but lately she had been so wrapped up in Seifer, and Xu had been overseeing some field tests when she wasn't working her ass off in the main office.

Quistis picked up her phone.

Contacts Xu Send

As it rang, she walked into her kitchen to get something for her headache. She grabbed a bottle of water and her medicine and sat down in her living room.

The other end of the line clicked on. Quistis jumped when she heard a crash and then a "fuck it all to hell" in the background.

After a couple more moments of struggle, her friend's gruff voice finally spoke directly into the receiver. "Yeah?"

Quistis sat up straighter on her couch. "Xu? It's Quistis."

"Yeah, I know." She said curtly. "What's up, Q?"

"Well I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me today?" Quistis stammered. She had obviously caught Xu in a bad mood.

Xu brightened up. "Yeah. That would be great."

They made plans to meet up in the Quad within the hour. Quistis quickly dried her hair and pulled on some clothes.

Looking at the blue halogen lights of the Garden was probably the worst thing that you could do for a hangover. By the time she got to the quad, her head felt like it had been smashed open with a sledge hammer. She found a table that was shaded by a large tree and sat down.

Quistis quickly grabbed some sunglasses out of her purse and laid her head down on the table.

"Man. Rough night, huh?"

Quistis looked up. Xu was dressed in a dark blue tank top, black military issued slacks, and combat boots.

Xu smiled at Quistis and tossed down a large bag of salty potato chips and two ice cold water bottles before plunking down into the seat beside her. She propped her boots up on the table and leaned back into the chair.

"I'm a little hung over, if you must know." Quistis answered. She grabbed one of the waters gratefully and took a large gulp.

"It happens to all of us." Xu reasoned, pushing her shoulder length hair away from her face in annoyance. Quistis pulled a hair elastic off of her wrist and handed it to Xu. "Thanks." Xu said as she pulled her hair up into a quick ponytail.

"Did I catch you at a bad time earlier on the phone?" Quistis asked casually.

Xu opened her water and stared out across the quad. "Nah, it wasn't you." She paused. "I was up until 0300 hours filing out expense reports for the entire month of September."

"Expense reports?" Quistis tilted her head. "Why were you having do that?"

"Exactly." She shook her head. "Over 300 pages of fucking busy work delegated to me by our dear commander. They're supposed to get filled out every day and placed in a folder for the end of the month, but the fucker didn't do them."

"Wow." Quistis shook her head. "That's ridiculous."

"You bet your ass it is." Xu grumbled and watched the rest of the quad like a hawk.

"So he's like... lazy?" Quistis asked. "That doesn't really sound like Squall."

Xu ripped open the bag of chips and tossed a couple in her mouth. "No, I wouldn't say he's lazy. He just doesn't fucking care." She said simply. "Half the time he's not even in his office, he's down at Almasy's class training cadets or off having two hour lunches with his creepy sorceress girlfriend."

Quistis laughed. "Yeah, that's not good."

"And when he is there, what do you think he's doing?" Xu asked rhetorically. "He's bitching at me about how things aren't running smoothly." She said gesturing to herself.

Quistis felt the anger start to pour off of Xu.

"Can you imagine how embarrassing it is?" Xu raised her voice, took her boots off the table, and propped herself up on her elbows. "Being outranked by that dickhead? I trained for years. Top of my class. I have personally been on more missions than anyone in this place. I headed the SeeD deployment division for three fucking years. I took care of incoming mission requests, hand picked the right soldiers for the job, and scouted across the globe for more deployment opportunities. I made this place a shitload of money."

Quistis looked at Xu sympathetically. It seemed like she just needed to let all of her rage out.

"And then what does Cid do?" Xu gestured around uselessly. "He passes me up for the promotion and gives it to that fucking rookie, straight out of cadet training. He barely had time to put on his SeeD uniform and toss his blue jacket in the trash before he was commanding the whole fucking Garden. And now the fucker acts like _I'm_ _the one_ not doing _my_ job every time there's a hiccup."

Xu ran her palm down her face in frustration. " It's a fucking travesty of justice." She finished quietly.

Quistis responded cautiously. "Would it make you feel any better if I told you that Squall doesn't even want to be commander?" She questioned.

Xu looked her blankly. "He doesn't want the position?"

"He always said that he hated it."

Xu threw her hands up. "No!" She yelled. "That does not make me feel better. He goes out of his way to make my life a living hell. You know what? One of these days, they are going to find Leonhart dead in his office with two untraceable rounds in the back of his skull. And they are going to say 'Xu, did you see what happened?' And I will say 'No, I didn't. Our dear commander sent me to get him some coffee, because obviously I'm a fucking secretary, and when I came back he had been inexplicably murdered.'"

Xu cracked a smile at her "joke".

Quistis laughed at her dark haired friend. A sneaky smile crept onto her face. "You know what? Maybe you two just have unresolved sexual tension from working so closely?"

Xu glared furiously at her, "That's disgusting."

"You could have fallen for his sullen charms." Quistis teased.

Xu held up her hand. "Please stop. I will puke."

"I kind of have a sixth sense about these things." Quistis quipped as she reached over to steal one of Xu's chips.

"I have been attracted to men, and I have been attracted to women," Xu explained. Quistis raised her eyebrows at the sudden wealth of information she was receiving. "But Squall Leonhart does not fit into either category. Long-haired, undeserving emo-bastard. He makes my skin crawl." She grumbled, shaking her head angrily before leaning back in her chair and propping her boots back up on the table.

Quistis smiled. "If you and he came to an understanding, it's possible that the board of directors wouldn't mind assigning Squall back on field missions and giving you the commanding position."

Xu broke out into an uncharacteristic genuine grin. "See, this is why I need you in my life, Quistis. You're fucking brilliant."

Quistis laughed at her friend and looked around the quad. It wasn't nearly as overpopulated as it normally was. The weather was perfect, so the bulk of the student body was probably down at the beach. Of course, the weather was always perfect on the island of Balamb.

They sat in a comfortable silence and watched the few Garden occupants mill about.

Xu finally broke the silence. "So, what's up with you, Q? We haven't talked in ages. I thought you'd forgotten about me." She said it as if it was a joke, but her eyes were serious.

Quistis looked down, feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry about that," She replied honestly, "The truth is I got kind of.." She paused, trying to find the right words, "obsessed with something. But I think that it's over now."

"What kind of something?" Xu said, tilting her head.

Quistis shook her head and looked down.

Xu sat up and leaned in closer to her blonde friend. "You can tell me anything, Q. I promise that I won't ever judge you on anything that you do."

Quistis met her eyes shamefully.

Xu placed her hand on top of Quistis'. And that was all that it took. Quistis felt the fortress that she had been hiding her secret in come tumbling down. All the lies that she had told, the shame that she had felt was ready to pour out of her. She wiped a tear away from her eye quickly and leaned closer to Xu.

She kept her voice low so that passerbys couldn't eavesdrop. "Have you ever had a one night stand?" She whispered.

Xu's eyes widened for a brief moment before she nodded. "That's all that I ever have. It's my policy, Quistis."

Quistis took a quick sip of water. "Does it make you feel weird? Don't you feel like we're supposed to be trying to falling in love right now and not just sleeping with some random guy?" Her eyes were begging Xu for an answer.

"Are you asking from experience?" Xu questioned.

Quistis shrugged. Xu figured that was as much as she was going to get out of her and decided to just answer her question. "Personally, I prefer to have one night with a _partner_ and then never see them again. You get to have your fun, but then you don't have to deal with them the next day. And you don't have to deal with the drama of being in a relationship." Xu paused, waiting for some cadets to walk past their table before continuing. There was no sense in the entire garden knowing all of their business. As they walked out of an earshot she went on. "I'm busy, you know? I practically run this place and I'm not sure that I'm selfless enough to be with another person in that way." She said honestly.

Quistis paused to think it over. "So, you always end it that night? You never go back to them?" She asked.

"I've revisited a few." Xu shrugged. "Sometimes it's better the second time around."

"And the third time around?" Quistis asked.

Xu shook her head. "Nah, no thirds."

Quistis felt like an idiot. Maybe that was the problem with her and Seifer. They had their fun, and it had been wonderful. But then they never cut ties. They just kept going back to each other. Maybe that's why this whole situation was so confusing to her.

Xu watched emotions play across her friend's face as Quistis looked across the quad at nothing. Quistis sat still, spacing out. "So is this what's going on with you? Been hunting for tail in Balamb? Fucking fisherman after fisherman?" Xu teased.

Quistis laughed, blushing. "No. It's not like that."

Xu smirked. "Sometimes fishermen are fun. When you catch them coming in to port from a big trip, they fuck desperately." Quistis covered her face, laughing. "But they smell awful." Xu finished.

Quistis continued to shake her head. "No." She said firmly. "And that's gross." She wondered if she should just let Xu know.

If not Xu, then who? She didn't really have a lot of people that she could talk to about this. Xu was her best friend, and often gave great advice. It would be a suicide mission to try to talk to Selphie or Rinoa about Seifer.

Not, it had to be Xu. She was the only one Quistis could trust to keep it to herself.

"The truth is that I had a one night stand last month." Quistis admitted. "And then the next night I had another one. With the same guy."

Xu nodded, having already assumed as much. "That sounds like fun, Q."

"And then we saw each other everyday," She continued, "Sometimes twice in a day for the next… bunch of days." She rambled.

Xu looked amused. "How many days?"

Quistis gulped. "About thirty or forty."

Xu laughed. "And you're telling me that was a one night stand." She observed.

"Yeah. Does that mean that I'm a whore?" She asked.

"No. You're not a whore." Xu said waving her hand in the air. "But it's also not a one night stand. By definition, it does not fit."

Xu paused, listening to her own words. She smiled widely all of the sudden, setting up in her chair and looking at Quistis square in the eye. "Did it not fit? Is that why you kept going back?" She asked with excitement.

"What do you mean?" Quistis asked in confusion. Xu gave her a pointed look. "Oh." She blushed with sudden realization.

Xu nodded, looking satisfied with herself. "It was huge, huh?"

Quistis felt mortified. "Shut up." She ordered.

"Like enormous." Xu exaggerated with her hands almost two feet apart.

"We are getting a little off topic." Quistis begged, watching them draw the attention of the surrounding students.

"Oh Hyne, it's so big!" Xu said while laughing hysterically.

Quistis stopped her pleading and just glared a hole through her.

Xu stopped laughing for a second and explained the game to Quistis. "Just say yes, and I'll stop. Confirm that I'm right about his penis." She said simply.

Quistis rolled her eyes. She guessed that she couldn't win them all. "You are right." She surrendered.

Xu shook her head. "No, no, no, Quistis. You have to sell it to me!"

Quistis felt so frustrated. "Fine. It was the most colossal, most gargantuan, most—" She noticed that everyone near them in the quad had grown quiet and was currently watching her. "Oh god."

Xu laughed, holding her stomach. She wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked at the cadets that were obviously eavesdropping. "Move along, shitheads." She barked at them. They all quickly scattered. Xu always had that effect on students and most of the faculty, actually. Most people were scared of her.

Quistis lay her head back down on their picnic table. Xu patted her arm consolingly. "So, you slept with some guy for x amount of days and now it's over?" Xu summarized, trying to get back on topic.

Quistis kept her head down but nodded.

Xu shrugged. "Well that's not so bad."

Quistis stayed quiet.

"Why'd it end?" Xu asked carefully.

Quistis shook her head. "It hasn't, really. Not officially anyways. I just think that I can't do it anymore." She stared out across the now empty quad regretfully. "I'm not sure that I can compartmentalize everything."

Xu finally caught on. "You started to like him?"

"Yeah." She whispered back.

"I've had that happen."

Quistis snapped her head in Xu's direction. "With who? I thought you said that you were too selfish to be with anyone?"

"I didn't know that about myself a couple of years ago."

"With who?" Quistis urged.

"Nida, up in the command office." Xu explained.

Quistis felt her mouth twitch. "Nida? He's so sweet. I-" She tried to figure out the best way to make her point. "He's so quiet and you are so…"

Xu laughed. "Yeah. It was weird."

Quistis stayed quiet for a second. "Why did you and Nida hook up in the first place?"

Xu put her boots back on the table. "I was bored. I wanted to see what kind of faces he would make." Her eyes glazed over as she remembered. "He was actually really surprising. I don't think I've ever been with anyone that fucked me harder."

Quistis' jaw dropped. "Nida?"

"Yeah. He's a fucking stallion."

"B-but… wow."

Xu nodded. "Anyways, we hooked up a couple of times. And then I realized that I was starting to really like him… So I ended it."

"You didn't try to see if he wanted to be with you too?" Quistis questioned.

"It wasn't the right course of action for me."

Quistis tried not to feel sad about the story the she had just heard. She glanced down at her watch. "Want to go get lunch?"

As they walked to the cafeteria, Quistis tried to wrap her mind around everything she had just learned. Xu was on the verge of being in love, she could have been happy. Nida would have been an idiot not to love her back. But Xu decided that being in love wasn't worth the risk. It was sad.

They quickly got their orders and sat down at a table in the back.

"So what are you going to do, Q?"

Quistis pushed her food around her plate. "What do you mean?"

"About _the guy_. The one that you have not officially broken things off with." Xu quirked an eyebrow.

"It makes sense to back off, but I've never had this kind of _scandalous affair_ in my life before." Quistis whispered jokingly. Xu laughed. Quistis smiled thinking of how awful she had felt last night and this morning compared to the way she felt now, joking around with her friend.

Quistis heard a loud bang to her immediate left. She jumped in her chair and twisted around. Zell, Squall, and Seifer had just materialized beside them. Quistis noticed their shirts were covered in sweat. This must have been the aftermath of the run that Seifer had mentioned in his email.

Seifer feigned tripping Zell, who while trying to avoid the fake trip actually lost his balance and face planted on the ground. Seifer laughed and took the seat right next to Quistis.

"Motherfucker, Seifer." Zell hissed as he pulled himself off the floor. Squall laughed and quietly took his seat.

Quistis glanced sideways at Xu, who had grown quiet and stony in the presence of Squall Leonhart.

Irvine approached from the cafeteria windows with huge plates of flood balanced on a couple of trays.

"Good afternoon, Quistis, Xu." He tipped his head to both of them as if his hat was on his head. All of the boys were dressed in standard SeeD issue exercise gear. He sat the food down on the table and the rest of the guys all reached over to grab their orders.

"Hello, Irvine." Quistis replied. Xu moved her head slightly in Irvine's direction to acknowledge his presence.

Seifer leaned his body across the table to grab his food. He deftly snaked his hand up her thigh in the commotion. Quistis tensed slightly at the contact. She glanced at him and noticed the way that his wet shirt clung to his chest. His shoulders rippled at the slightest movement. Pheromones seemed to pour off of his body and make her feel drunk again.

She quickly snuffed out the fire that was brewing inside of her and crossed her legs away from him. His hand fell from her thigh. She looked directly at Xu, who hadn't noticed. Xu was obviously too busy trying to make Squall's head explode with only her mind. Quistis tried to will herself not to glance back at Seifer.

Squall's eyes traveled over the table's occupants, suddenly noticing Xu sitting across from him. "Xu. I don't normally see you down here at lunch."

Xu glared. "Yeah. That's because I'm normally working through lunch because of all the _slackers_ up in the command office." She said evenly.

Squall returned her glare. Quistis raised her eyebrows in surprise. She hadn't expected that at all. She thought that Xu was coming up with some kind of conspiracy about Squall's management style, but judging from the looks of it, Squall actually had it out for her.

_Yikes._

Quistis laughed nervously trying to ease the tension at the table. Xu glanced at her like she was crazy. Quistis coughed.

"What's your fucking problem, Almasy?" Xu had turned her fangs on Seifer.

Quistis quickly turned her head to Seifer to see what was happening.

Seifer widened his eyes before narrowing them in annoyance. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're looking at Quistis like she kicked your puppy." Xu deadpanned.

_Shit._ Xu obviously wasn't blind like the rest of her friends. Bringing her around Seifer had been a mistake. _She would know._

Seifer immediately scoffed. "I'm not. I am wearing a very normal expression." Seifer said, keeping his face a blank mask.

Xu smirked at him. "I would think that you would be a better liar."

"I'm a very competent liar, thank you very much." Seifer immediately retorted.

"So you're lying right now?" Xu asked smiling widely at her triumph.

"You're a lunatic." Seifer said stonily, not answering the question.

"Lunatic, huh?" Xu said drumming her fingers on the table. "Lunatic… Pandora?" She questioned, smirking.

Seifer stayed silent. He got up and walked away.

Squall and Irvine both froze.

Zell was surprisingly the first to jump to Seifer's defense. "Hey! Shut up, you—"

He was quickly interrupted by Quistis.

She lost herself. "Honestly, Xu." She said angrily. "Have you gone daft or just lost all tact?" Xu stared in surprise at Quistis. "You're going to bring all that shit up to him? Like he probably doesn't think about it all the time?"

"Quistis, I didn't mean anyth—" Xu started, raising her hands up.

"Really? You didn't mean to cut him deep?" She asked, laughing angrily. "That's fucking surprising. Just because you're mad at Squall does not mean that you get to take it out on everybody." Squall raised his eyebrows at the mention of his name.

"He called me a—"

"A lunatic? You were attacking him when he didn't even provoke you." Quistis said accusingly. "God, you were at his trial, Xu."

Xu stayed silent.

"Ugh." Quistis growled out before grabbing her stuff and leaving after Seifer.

Xu covered her face with her hands in annoyance. That had really blown up in her face. And now she was sitting in the crowded cafeteria with people who were Quistis' friends, not hers.

_Actually Quistis was her only friend._

The men at her table sat there in silence after Quistis' outburst.

Xu muttered "Sorry" and got up from the table, walking away.

She tried to replay what just happened in her head. Almasy was looking at Quistis like he was confused. Quistis looked tense. Xu figured it was because Almasy was being a creep, so she said something.

Then Quistis threw Squall in her face, when she had obviously told her all that shit in confidence. It wasn't like Xu ran around telling all of Quisits' secrets.

_Fuck. _Xu thought.

Seifer Almasy was _the guy_.

* * *

><p><strong>Words: 4284<strong>

**Notes: Well this took a while. I should be posting a little bit more often for the next month though. **


	5. Storm

**Chapter 5**

**Storm** - _a disturbance in the air above the Earth, with strong winds; a sudden strong outpouring of feeling in reaction to something_

* * *

><p>When she found him, he was on an unpopulated strip of beach.<p>

The sky was uncharacteristically overcast today. Her body didn't feel acclimated to the chilly air. A dull fog was pouring in from across the ocean, casting a hazy shadow across their small island.

He really was a beautiful sight to behold. And the beach seemed to always be the place where Quistis would get lost in looking at him. She felt dejavu creeping up on her. The weather, the waves, and Seifer looking upset. The scene felt so much like the polar island of Centra. It felt like she was a child again.

She pulled her sweater closer to her body. She sat down on the slightly damp sand beside him and watched the waves continue their assault against the coast.

He smiled slightly as he felt her presence and without looking, he placed his arm around her shoulders.

They sat there in a comfortable silence watching the tide pour in.

"Sorry about Xu." She said quietly.

Seifer shook his head. "It's not a problem."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." He said firmly. She watched as the wind rustled his short hair.

"What do you want to do then?"

He met her eyes for the first time and smirked.

Quistis smiled. "It's too cold to do that."

"Fine." He surrendered.

After a moment, he spoke again. "Do you remember when we were kids, watching the boats go by?"

Quistis smiled as he brought up the orphanage. "Yeah."

"We would make up stories about the pirates and sea captains that lived on them. About the monsters that lurked in the water." His emerald eyes glazed over as he remembered. A small smile crept onto his face.

"I would always try to make the brave captain into a girl." She tried to recall the stories. It was so long ago. "We would create fantastic beasts to scare the other kids with."

"Yeah. And then Zell would get scared and not put his feet in the water for weeks." Seifer laughed. "I miss being a kid." He said suddenly, the smile disappearing from his face.

"It's a tragedy of life." Quistis agreed, leaning into his chest.

"Do you ever wish that you could just have a do-over of your whole life?" He whispered against the wind. "It would be nice to be a person that didn't know everything. To be someone who _hadn't seen everything_." His eyes turned dark.

She wanted so badly to be there for him. Obviously Xu had dredged up some bad memories for Seifer. He looked so vulnerable in that moment. He looked so easily broken. He looked so different from the last time that they were on the beach together. His eyes looked hollow as he watched the tide, contemplating all of the _what ifs_ of his life.

They hadn't ever really talked about the war. Seifer had made it obvious after his acquittal that he didn't want to talk about it ever again. He had been interrogated for months over his involvement, and afterwards he had asked everyone to just let him be done with that part of his life. To let him close the door on all of those memories.

Still, Quistis figured it must have been something that he thought about from time to time. During his trial, he had made it very clear that the entirety of the war had been a haze for him. He had little control over his own body and very few moments of clarity, which tended to always involve agony being inflicted upon him.

For Xu to throw it in his face just to win a squabble with him in the cafeteria was an atrocity that Quistis would not soon forget.

Seifer watched emotions play across her face as she became lost in thought. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his. She felt herself get lost in him. His kiss tasted so familiar and sweet. His large hands pulled her waist closer to him on the beach. He lay them down beside each other in the wet sand. She ran her fingers through his damp hair and sighed into his mouth.

The moment felt so right and so calming after such a hectic morning.

And yet there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that wouldn't let her relax. She hesitated slightly, trying to remember why she wasn't supposed to be kissing Seifer Almasy. She wasn't supposed to be comforting him and in turn receiving comfort from him.

Seifer felt her tense up and pulled back. "What's wrong?" He whispered, staring at her seriously.

She sat back up and tried to shake the sand from her hair. "I've been thinking about us a lot." She couldn't look at him.

"What about us?" He asked.

And just like that, without any thought of consequences or the moment that they had just shared together, Quistis said exactly what she was feeling.

"I don't think that we should be together any more."

* * *

><p>Seifer stared at her silently.<p>

He felt a rip across his chest.

_Why?_

Quistis went on, trying to explain herself. "I know this isn't the best time to bring it up, but I just..." She trailed off, trying to find the right words.

He looked away from her. He started to get mad.

"Is it because _that cunt_ noticed me looking at you today?" He asked harshly. "You're worried about what your friends might think about you if they knew that you were with me?"

That had to be it. It's what they talked about last time they were together, and Quistis had clearly been giving him the cold shoulder all day. If she valued anything, it was the opinion of others. He had seen her countless times throughout their lives chase after perfection. And she had obviously just realized that he was far from perfect. He found it surprising that their fling had even lasted this long.

She shook her head. "No, no. It's not that." She stammered. "I just don't think that I can keep doing this." She gestured to the two of them. He tried to tune her out.

Why would she ruin this? The time that he had spent with her lately had been some of the few happy moments that he had in the entirety of his life. Being around her was like being that perfect amount of drunk, where the whole world seemed to feel a little bit more bearable and brighter and now…

She was destroying it. She was destroying him.

She nervously babbled on. "And it has nothing to do with you, I have really enjoyed being with you these past couple of weeks."

Why was she saying these things? Her platitudes were just making him feel more and more pathetic. They weren't helpful to him, and they were not making him feel any better about this moment.

He interrupted her quickly. "Why are you doing this?" He could have followed it up with millions of questions that were pouring through his mind, but instead he just waited.

She looked him in the eye. "I want to fall in love."

_With who?_

He should have guessed that would be why she wanted to stop messing around with him. Little Quistis wanted her story to have some gallant prince chasing after her. He didn't fit the bill. He put on the mask that he had worn for years.

She watched him shut her out. "I've just never had that with anyone." She tried to explain uselessly. "And if I don't try now, I maybe never will."

He laughed at her cruelly.

He wouldn't speak. He wouldn't answer. He couldn't wait for her to leave.

Just let this moment be over.

She went on. He didn't look at her, but he could hear small breaths in what she was saying. Crying?

"I care about you." She admitted.

"Don't." He said firmly. She wasn't going to make excuses to him. He wasn't going to listen to this bullshit.

"I just think that –"

He was done with this.

"You really don't need to go on and on making this seem like it was more than it was, Quistis." He jumped to his feet and put some distance between them. She quickly stood up too and watched him helplessly.

He wanted her to hurt.

"What we had… it was just sex. It wasn't even great sex." He watched the pain melt across her beautiful features.

Her eyes seemed to tear up as he continued to glare at her.

"You threw yourself at me on the beach that day, and I took from you what you were willing to give."

The words just kept pouring out of him. He would feel better if he could just make her feel the way that he felt.

Alone.

Used.

Angry.

Quistis nodded. "I'm going to go back up to the school." Quistis said, turning away and taking a few steps toward the silhouette of the Garden in the distance.

"Manners, _Quistis," _He said her name with as much maliciousness as he could muster. "You should tell me thank you." He went on, unable to stop himself.

She paused, and met his eyes once again. "Thank you for what, exactly?" She always was a glutton for punishment.

"For fucking you." He smirked at her as she seemed to crumble to pieces in front of him. "And for pretending like I ever gave a damn about this."

"Goodbye, Seifer."

And then she walked away.

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks. Two weeks since she ruined everything.<p>

Seifer narrowed his eyes at the stragglers in his class. Today he was having his cadets run laps around the track for endurance.

"Pick up the pace, Donovan!" He barked as a particularly slow cadet ran by him for the 14th time that morning.

"Instructor Almasy, I think I'm going to be si—" The kid doubled over and threw up on the grass beside Seifer's feet.

Seifer glared at the vomit before taking a couple steps toward the shaking boy. "Hyne help me, boy. You better catch up to the rest of the class immediately, or you are out of this school."

"But I'm sick!" The boy protested.

"Throwing up is your body's way of getting rid of your weaknesses. Now go." Seifer commanded.

The boy wiped his mouth off on his shirt and started running around the track.

"You are a softee with these kids."

Seifer felt his jaw clench.

"Really? You're here again?" He turned around to see Squall walking up to him wearing exercise gear.

"I'm 'observing'." Squall stated.

"Don't you have a job to do up in the command office? Or is it just long lunches and 'ice cream Fridays' up there?" Seifer asked, making notes on his clipboard.

"A good boss is able to delegate the things that he doesn't feel like doing. Besides, I can't stand being in the office all day." Squall stretched his lean arms up towards the sky. "If I have to fill out anymore paperwork, I will blow my brains out."

Seifer laughed harshly. "That would be a sight to see."

"Good to know that you care about my well being." Squall said dryly.

Seifer shrugged. He blew his whistle as the leader of the pack finished his final lap. "James, you're done. Take a break until someone else finishes, and then begin your sparring exercises."

James Evans was the best student in Seifer's class. Technically he could barely be considered a student. Evans had transferred from Galbadia and was having to get recertified to work in Balamb. He was only a year younger than Seifer. He had messy blonde hair and hallow almost black eyes. He walked up to his gym bag and grabbed his water bottle. He was barely out of breath.

Seifer wrote on his notepad, and turned back to Squall. "You're going to lose your job, you know. You should go back to your office."

"Who's going to fire me? I'm the commander." Squall reasoned.

"Well, you're in the way here."

Squall shrugged. "Bullshit. What's the real reason?"

"I don't feel like seeing your face all the time." Seifer replied. He glanced back at the track. "Motherfucker. Donovan! Get over here right now!"

The kid was barely walking around the track at this point. He swayed on his feet a little as he drug his body across the field. "Instructor.. I don't think I can run anymore. I feel like I'm dying."

Seifer raised his voice. "Do you think you're going to be given any kind of reprieve on the battlefield? Do you think opposing armies and scumbag terrorist factions are going to let you have a water break?" He yelled at the boy, who looked like he was near tears.

"I just-"

"You owe me 50 push ups. Right now." Seifer said coldly.

Squall stepped in. "Actually no, Donovan. James," Squall called out to the bored looking boy standing near them. "Take Donovan to the doctor."

Cadet Evans nodded and grabbed the sickly boy by the arm, pulling him back towards the school.

Seifer waited until they were out of an earshot before he blew up. "Are you fucking kidding me, Leonhart? This is my class. You can't just come down here and undermine my authority."

Squall glared at him. "Actually, I can. I'm the commander, and I—" He started calmly.

"You can shove that right up your—" Seifer yelled.

"Silence." Squall said firmly. "That kid was pale. He was about the pass out, and you were asking too much of him, Seifer."

"I'm training him to be strong!" Seifer yelled back.

"You're acting like a crazy person. That kid is thirteen. He's not a soldier yet. He has time to build up his cardio."

"This is fucking ridiculous." Seifer blew his whistle two quick times to call his students to him. "You're all dismissed. Apparently, you need coddling. Get out of my sight." The cadets quickly grabbed their gear and ran back to the school.

Seifer gathered his things up at the field, put them in his duffle bag, and without looking at Squall, he stormed back to the building. Squall followed him quietly, letting him cool off.

By the time they were walking up the stone steps outside of the school, Seifer dropped his bag and turned around suddenly. "What?" He yelled at the commander. "What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want?" He asked, spitting every word out.

Squall looked at Seifer blankly. He had expected this kind of reaction. It was rare now-a-days, but it was still text book Seifer. "I wasn't supervising your class because I was bored. I've been getting a lot of complaints about you."

Seifer sighed and drug his hand across his face, taking a seat on the steps. "Of course you have."

"What's going on? You've been doing this job admirably for months. Now you're blowing up at cadets, pushing them too far. Kadowaki has been treating a lot of injuries out of your classroom that could have been avoided." Squall said, taking a seat near Seifer on the stairs. "And I don't want to fire you. Really. I think that you're a great instructor for this school to have. But you're really backing me into a corner on this one. So I need a reason."

Seifer rubbed his palms across his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know I've been acting up."

"Save your sorry's for your students. Give me a reason." Squall said firmly.

"It's a personal matter." Seifer said, embarrassed that he was having to talk to Squall about his 'feelings'.

Squall just stared at him and waited for a better answer. He raised his eyebrow subtly.

Seifer looked back at him defiantly before finally giving up. He growled. "Fine. My uhh." He struggled to define what exactly he should call Quistis. "There was this.." He shook his head.

Squall smirked at him.

Seifer glared at him furiously. "There was a woman that I was seeing. And now I'm not." He tried to keep the story as simple as possible.

"Finally hit puberty?" Squall quipped.

"Shut your fucking mouth."

Squall let out a rare laugh. "Sorry." He said, obviously lying. "Got it. You broke up with your girlfriend and now you're pissed at the world."

Seifer mulled over what Squall said. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go with that."

"It can't affect your work anymore." Squall warned. "This is the last time you and I are going to have a conversation about this. Next time, you will lose your license."

Seifer nodded submissively. He figured that he was probably getting special treatment right now. It bothered him that Squall Leonhart might be going easy on him out of pity, but it was better than losing his job. "I'll apologize to my cadets tomorrow. Is that alright?"

"That's just fine." Squall stretched and leaned his elbows back against the stone steps. "Now that we're done with the official Garden reprimand." Seifer rolled his eyes. "Rinoa has been worried about you, we haven't seen you at lunch lately." Seifer knew that when Squall said _Rinoa is worried _he actually meant _we are worried._

"Same reason." He explained tensely.

"Got it. No need to dive any deeper into it." Squall held up his hands. "Either way, though, we're going to have a barbecue up in our apartment tomorrow. I expect you to be there." Squall and Rinoa lived in an apartment that connected to the command center of Garden. They had the luxury equivalent of a penthouse suite, with a large rooftop balcony for entertaining. It was a perk that other soldiers did not enjoy.

Seifer sighed in exasperation. It hardly seemed like something that he wanted to do.

Squall immediately spoke up. "I'm not firing you today, so you have to come to the damn barbecue."

"You're kind of abusing your power." Seifer said dryly.

Squall shrugged. That was the only response Seifer was going to get. "It's been one hell of a week. Between dealing with you and Quistis, I've been real busy." Squall shook his head.

Seifer froze. _Why would he know about him and Quistis? Had she told?_

He composed himself and pretended like he was watching birds that were playing a fountain nearby as he tried to figure out what exactly Squall knew. "What's going on with Trepe?"

"She's hardly been to class. She keeps calling in sick. Rinoa went down to check on her, but she said that she was too contagious to answer the door. I've had Zell covering her classes all week."

_Sick, huh?_ Seifer was thankful that Squall hadn't put two and two together.

Squall went on. "It's been a disaster. Zell is completely incompetent with things that don't involve martial arts. You should hear him try to explain junctioning to a bunch of kids."

"I can imagine." Seifer said.

Squall stood up, apparently done with his sharing quota for the month. "Take the rest of the day, Seifer. I'll call off the rest of your classes."

Seifer nodded.

"And don't forget about my barbecue."

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks. Two weeks since she ruined everything.<p>

She lay on her bed curled in fetal position. Soft melodies filtered out of her stereo.

Her eyes were red. Her hair was dirty and pulled into a messy bun. She was sure that it was matted from not being brushed. She didn't care.

She knew that she wasn't handling this "break up" very well.

Her phone started ringing. She covered her head with a pillow as her own voice resonated loudly from her answering machine.

"This is Quistis. I'm not in my room right now. Leave a message!" Her answering machine lied before beeping.

"It's Xu again. Look, I know you're still mad at me, but I'm worried about you. Answer your fucking door. You don't have to talk to me, but I need proof of life." Click.

There's no way she was answering the door today.

He had completely broken her. She knew that he had a temper, but after growing close to him she never imagined that he would be so cruel to her.

He had yelled at her.

He had belittled her.

He had made her feel like a desperate slut.

And confirmed absolutely everything that she had been worried about.

And sure, crying over him in her room for two weeks probably wasn't the most adult way of handling things.

But she was sick of being a grown up about everything! She had been responsible her whole life.

The garden could let her use a couple of her hundreds of built up off-days so that she could feel the emotions that she was feeling over losing him.

She jumped slightly when she heard a bang on the door.

"You better open this fucking door, Quistis." Xu yelled from the hallway.

"I'm sick." She called out from her bed.

"Bullshit. Open the door."

Quistis stayed quiet and stared at the wall.

"Motherfucker. Fine." She heard an electric screwdriver followed by a metal panel being pried from the wall.

_Damnit. _ She sat up in bed and pulled her hair down, trying to run her fingers through it to get out some of the tangles. Apparently, Xu was coming in whether she had permission or not.

The door whished open seconds later.

"You won't answer your phone, won't answer your door. You're acting like a child." Xu yelled at her, stomping into the room.

"You have your 'proof of life', now leave." Quistis said, pulling a long sweater around her. She walked to her kitchen and started making tea.

"I know I was cruel to that fucker, and I'm sorry. I've already apologized to him."

Quistis ignored her.

Xu sighed heatedly. "You're going to just throw away a decade of friendship over that dick? I didn't even know, Quistis."

Quistis turned to her slowly. "Didn't know what?"

Xu sat down on at the bar of Quistis' kitchenette. "I didn't know that Almasy was the guy that you were messing around with. You didn't tell me, how could I have known?"

Quistis felt her eyes watering. _The guy that you were messing around with._

Xu quickly jumped back up to her feet and hugged Quistis. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She apologized, feeling horrible. "Just please stop avoiding me, please be my friend again."

Quistis wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I haven't been avoiding you. I'm avoiding him." Quistis crossed to her living room and collapsed onto her couch. Crumpled tissues on the coffee table were disturbed by the gust of wind as she sat down.

Xu sat down quietly beside her. "So you ended it after all?" She asked hesitantly.

Quistis nodded. "I told him that I cared about him, that I wanted to be in love. And then he said that I had thrown myself at him and that it never meant anything." Her voice trembled.

Xu clenched her fists. "That son of a bitch."

Quistis shook her head. "He was right though. We didn't mean anything." Quistis wiped her face. "And it's fine. I'm going to be better off without him." She nodded bravely. "I'm going to meet someone and fall in love…" Her voice started to break again. "And they're going to love me back this time." She crumbled all over again.

Xu held her as Quistis went through her confusing post-breakup mood swings.

Xu rubbed Quistis' back until her crying died out. "I think you're going to need to fix your hair if you want a boyfriend."

Quistis snorted as she started laughing. "Oh hyne, you're probably right."

"Or at least wash it." Xu joked.

Quistis wiped the tears from her face and blew her nose on a nearby tissue. "I know. I look horrible."

"It's okay, there are experts for this kind of thing." Xu said. She dreaded what was next, but knew that it was inevitable.

* * *

><p>Word Count: 3,927<p>

Notes: The first section of this chapter was so heartbreaking to write. I made the setting so relaxing before dropping the axe. I'll admit that I cried a little while writing it. I'm trying to keep both characters human. I think that Seifer lashing out at Quistis and his students would be a very real thing that he would do given his bully mentality. And Quistis may be a warrior, but she's also a woman. Sometimes you have to just break down when you lose someone. Thanks for all the reviews, the story is about to get a lot more fun, so stay tuned. (Edit: Changed the name of Seifer's star pupil because although I had thought up the first and last named separately, I had no clue that I had accidentally named him.)


	6. Metamorphosis

Chapter 6

**Metamorphosis** - _a transformation caused by supposed supernatural powers._

Xu heard Quistis' shower kick on. She pulled out her cell phone and sighed.

"This is Selphie!" The horrendous monstrosity giggled into the phone.

"Xu." She said simply.

"Whatcha need?"

Xu explained and exactly 25 seconds later she heard a crash in the hallway before Selphie burst into the room. "Where is she?!" She screamed. She was pulling what looked to be suitcases behind her.

Xu sat on the couch flipping through a magazine boredly. She pointed over her shoulder to the bathroom door.

A gust of wind flew by her. As she turned the page again she heard Quistis scream out "Selphie, I'm taking a shower! Do you mind waiting in the living room?!"

A second later Selphie plopped down on the couch beside her.

Xu looked up at her. "You were supposed to bring Cadet Heartily with you."

Selphie nodded excitedly. Her whole body seemed to vibrate from having to sit still. "She's raiding her closet first. Quistis' clothes are all bleh."

Rinoa strolled in a few minutes later, with clothes draped over her arms. "Did you know the door lock has been ripped from Quistis' doorway?" She observed.

"Maintenance." Xu lied swiftly.

Rinoa shrugged and threw all of her clothes down on Quistis' bed.

Quistis walked into the room looking fresh faced and clean. Her hair had been washed, her face had been scrubbed, and all signs of her crying fits had been washed down the drain. She stared in horror at the makeup and clothing that was sitting all over her apartment. "This is really happening, isn't it..?" She said in dread.

Xu flipped another page in her magazine, puffed up her cheeks, and blew air out through her mouth in exasperation.

Selphie jumped up. "Hell yeah, this is happening!" She skipped across the room and grabbed Quistis' hands in her own. "Do you know how long we have wanted to give you a make-over?!" She yelled.

Rinoa nodded excitedly from across the room.

"Hyne." Quistis said a quiet prayer and begged for the patience that she would inevitably need.

* * *

><p>She was in pain. She had been plucked, waxed, and poked accidently in the eye.<p>

She was currently sitting as still as she could as Selphie pulled her hair into rollers.

"Ouch! Damnit, Selphie, stop pulling it." Quistis begged.

Selphie pulled harder in response. "Quit your whining! Beauty is pain."

Rinoa sat on the floor by her feet painting her toenails. "We're having a barbecue tonight, Quistis." She had been rattling on for over an hour at this point. Quistis tried to listen as intently as possible. Even mindless girl-talk was a welcome distraction compared to feeling every inkling of pain that _Madame Tilmitt_ was putting her through.

"A barbecue, huh? That sounds fun." Xu said sarcastically from her permanent position on the couch.

Rinoa nodded enthusiastically, unaware that Xu was making fun of her. "_It is_ going to be fun! Everyone is going to be there, and we're going to have beer and burgers. Will you come, Quistis? Please please please?" She begged with large eyes.

Quistis winced as Selphie forcefully made her sit up straight. "I don't know. I have been sick lately. I wouldn't want to infect everyone." Quistis lied.

Xu smirked at her from over Rinoa's shoulder. "But you haven't had a fever in days, Quistis. You can't possibly be contagious anymore."

Quistis glared daggers at her.

Rinoa clapped her hands. "Then that settles it! You're coming!" She jumped up and ran to Quistis' bed to find an outfit.

"You can wear this!" Rinoa said twirling around the room holding a dark red flowy sleeveless dress with a plunging neckline.

"That's going to look beautiful on you, Quistis!" Selphie gushed.

"It's going to be the best!" Xu said in fake enthusiasm.

Quistis kept her tone even. "Xu, you should come too." Xu froze in the middle of a pretend girl jump with Rinoa.

"I hardly think—" Xu started.

Quistis wasn't going to let her get away with this _sabotage. _"Rinoa, Xu has just been going on and on about how she really wishes Squall would be more of a friend to her." Xu's mouth dropped open.

Rinoa spun around, beaming a big smile in Xu's direction. When she turned back to Quistis, Xu started waving her arms wildly at Quistis, silently begging her to call it off.

"Really she wishes that she was part of the gang." Quistis continued in glee. "But sometimes friends just need that little push," She smiled innocently at Rinoa. "from the right person."

And with that she hammered the final nail into Xu's coffin.

"You don't have to worry about anything, Xu!" Rinoa said, throwing her arms around Xu's neck. "We are going to all be best friends in no time!"

_I'm going to kill you. _Xu mouthed from over Rinoa's shoulder. Quistis smiled widely at her.

Quistis took a sip of the fruity alcoholic drink that Selphie had put in her hands. "Rinoa, I just got the best idea." She said, feeling please with her own brilliance. "You should pick Xu out a dress to wear too."

Selphie and Rinoa squealed and ran together over to the bed.

"Dead." Xu said quietly. "Quistis. You're completely dead."

Quistis laughed.

Selphie walked back over to them and took a glance at Xu's nails. Unable to stop herself, she grabbed the other girl's hand.

Xu smacked her hand away in a futile attempt at escape.

* * *

><p>"Son of a bitch!" Xu yelled as her ankle once again tried to snap off her legs. Heels were impossible. "Why the fuck do sane women wear these?"<p>

Quistis shrugged and walked up the stairs to the central elevator. Xu followed her shakily, holding onto the stair railing for dear life.

Quistis' hair was falling in gorgeous curls all over her shoulders. She was wearing the dress that Rinoa had insisted she wear.

She was surprised that she actually did feel pretty. Her skin was relaxed from all the fancy moisturizers that Selphie had. Her face had been exfoliated, leaving behind smooth baby soft skin, and the dress fit her perfectly. They had finished the look off with a pair of gorgeous blood red heels and delicate silver jewelry.

Xu hadn't faired as well as she had, and Quistis wasn't saying that to girl-hate on her best friend. They had forced her to wear make up. Selphie had held her down until Xu finally stopped struggling. She was wearing a pretty dress, but Xu wasn't a frequent dress-wearer so she looked awkward. And Quistis figured that Xu hadn't ever worn heels. Every step she took was like a T-Rex clomping through a forest. Quistis figured if Xu could just relax for a minute, her usual confidence would pour out from her and people would be able to notice her beauty.

But judging from her unsure footfalls, Quistis didn't think that would happen for her friend any time tonight.

Quistis stopped the elevator door from closing for the fifth time. "Hurry up, Xu. We're already late."

Xu stumbled as she tried to pick up the pace. She cheered at her triumph when she finally managed to board the postponed elevator.

"Oh thank god." She sighed and leaned against the elevator wall for support. "I hate you so much right now, Q."

Quistis shook her head and smiled. "For the record, you threw me under the bus first. I just pulled you down with me."

"Yeah. I'm regretting it." Xu admitted. "I don't want to go to this dumb fucking barbecue." Xu whined. "Why are we wearing dresses to this thing anyways? Barbecues are supposed to be casual. Jeans. Flannel shirts. Sneakers."

The elevator started ascending. "I guess it's more of a dinner party." Quistis reasoned. "Besides, I feel pretty."

"Well, I'm happy for you. And I'll bite the bullet to go with you to this thing. Ugh," Xu grumbled. "Forced interaction with Dickhead Leonhart."

Quistis sighed. "You can't be like this tonight." Xu whined. "You can't run around talking about sex and burping and cursing like a sailor all night. Rinoa wants this thing to be classy."

"Yeah, yeah." Xu's ankle snapped sideways again in her too-high heels. "Mother Fuc—" She took a deep breath and corrected herself. "Golly. These heels sure do seem like a safety hazard, Miss Trepe."

Quistis laughed. "We can do this. We can have a civil socializing experience with a crowd of people our age." She encouraged the other girl. "We are highly trained for combat, espionage, and yes, dinner parties."

The doors dinged as they arrived at the penthouse suite above the command office. The cool air hit her legs. The door whished to reveal the patio where her friends had gathered.

Xu suddenly inhaled a quick panicked breath and narrowed her eyes. "Q."

"Yes?"

"I don't think this barbecue is going to go as smoothly as you might have wanted." Xu said carefully.

"Why?" Quistis whispered as she followed Xu's gaze.

Seifer was here.

"Motherfucker." Quistis hissed.

He was standing with Irvine by the grill, drinking a beer and flipping burgers. He was smiling and laughing at something that Irvine was saying.

He looked so perfect.

He was wearing a white button down shirt that looked great against his tan skin, and dark wash jeans. He had his sleeves rolled up and a couple buttons undone.

He was effortless.

She felt her heart start to break again.

He was obviously taking this _breakup_ well.

"Okay, don't freak out, Quistis." Xu said firmly.

"I'm not. It's fine." Quistis assured herself. "We were bound to run into each other eventually."

"Leonhart is coming this way. Pull yourself together." Xu warned.

Quistis put on a huge smile, and together she and Xu met Squall halfway on his trek over to greet them.

"Evening, Quistis. Thanks for coming." He put one arm hesitantly around her shoulder and gave her a sideways-hug. He turned to her companion. "Xu. This is unexpected."

"I love your apron." Xu said maliciously. Squall was apparently supposed to be in charge of the grill. His apron said in bright yellow letters "King of the Party".

Squall glared at her as an embarrassed blush crept onto his face. Rinoa ran up to them quickly. She threw her arms around Xu's neck. "I'm so happy that you could make it!" She gushed.

"I didn't really have a choi-" Xu started before Rinoa interrupted her, unfazed.

"Squall, did you know that Xu has wanted to be your friend for like ages?" Rinoa said, unaware of the chaos that she had just inflicted.

All color drained from Xu's face.

Squall's eyebrows shot up.

Quistis smiled. "Tell Squall all about it, Xu."

Xu glared sideways at her friend as she struggled to maintain her footing.

"Beer or wine?" Rinoa asked.

"Beer please. Now. Bring me two." Xu responded in a staccato, tight lipped fashion.

Quistis told Rinoa that she would also like a beer. Their raven-haired friend quickly ran to get their drinks, returning seconds later. The four of them walked over to one of the picnic tables that Rinoa had set up for the party.

The patio was the first part of Squall and Rinoa's luxurious apartment that one could see upon arrival. Inside, their place looked like it had been plucked out of a Deling City Lifestyles magazine. Outside, Rinoa had hung large white paper lanterns all stringed together and scalloped across support beams. The starlight twinkled in between them. They had a heated pool, a fire pit, and patio furniture all over the place. Rinoa obviously wasn't as much of a hard-living resistance fighter as she liked to boast about. Her decorating style communicated a very clear message that she had grown up as a spoiled rich girl in Deling City.

"You want to be my friend?" Squall asked rhetorically.

Rinoa smiled encouragingly at Xu.

Xu sighed at the embarrassment at what she had to endure for Quistis' sake. "Yes. Yes I do, Leonhart."

"Tell him why!" Rinoa insisted.

"Because," Xu started weakly, her voice cracking. "I just wish that I could be more like you." She swallowed as if she might vomit. Quistis grinned ear to ear and leaned in anticipating the speech that Xu could have prepared. "I may undermine you at every turn when we are working, but really I admire you." Xu paused for a second, possibly having an aneurism. "And I should be grateful of all of the many… many, many, many responsibilities that you delegate to me." She finished quickly.

Squall grinned as she struggled to clearly lie about his stronger qualities. He tilted his head, looking thoughtful. He wasn't an idiot and had clearly caught on to the fact that Xu had her arm twisted tonight about being civil. "Really? It seems like you hate me most of the time."

Xu glared at him. "You are a war hero." She said spitefully.

"Anything else?" Squall asked.

Xu turned her beer up and chugged it entirely.

"She's done." Quistis replied for her.

"Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. Enjoy the party, you two. Good to see you, Quistis." Squall said. He walked away. Rinoa excused herself to attend to her many guests.

Xu finished her beer and slammed it down on the table. "That was fucking horrible."

Quistis laughed as her friend banged her head against the table in disgust. "You'll be alright." She glanced around the party. Zell was standing by the pool's edge. Irvine and Seifer were setting nearby on some patio furniture. Squall had taken over the grill. Selphie was at a table that Rinoa had apparently set up as a drink station. Rinoa was carrying out a giant cake from inside their house. She teetered slightly at the doorway, trying to keep it balanced. Quistis and Xu quickly got up to go help her.

They set it down on the table.

"Wow… this is an impressive cake, Rinoa." Quistis noted. "Did you order it from the Balamb Bakery?"

Rinoa laughed. "No, silly, I made it about an hour ago." Squall gestured for everyone to crowd around the table.

Xu leaned in to whisper in Quistis ear. "She made that thing? It's like a 10 layer cake. When the hell did she find time for that?"

Quistis shrugged. "She's good at that stuff."

"Sure, I can accept that some people are good at cooking, but she also looks like a fucking knockout tonight. Why is it that some women have it all together like that? It's unfair."

Quistis laughed.

"It took me forty five minutes to walk from the dormitory to the elevators in these heels." Xu whined. "Do you think she's using dark magic in order to be completely perfect?"

"Are you getting a crush on her?" Quistis joked.

Xu blushed uncharacteristically. "No. Hyne. Shut up."

Squall tapped on a glass, and waited for his friends to settle down.

Quistis snuck a look at Seifer, who was looking at her blankly. His eyes were so full of hate.

She hadn't seen him look at her like that since the war. And back then, he was possessed by a crazy sorceress.

She quickly looked away from him.

Squall smiled at all of his friends. "Rinoa and I asked you all to be here tonight because we have an announcement and there is no one on this planet that we would rather share it with first."

Quistis stopped breathing.

Rinoa beamed at everyone. "Squall asked me to marry him."

"What?" Zell blurted out.

Selphie smacked him across the skull. "The correct response is YAYYYYY!" She said, jumping around, hugging them both.

Quistis stood flabberghasted. They were getting married?

"See, she's perfect." Xu reiterated as every started gathering around the happy couple, shaking hands and hugging.

"Wow." Quistis said, feeling speechless.

* * *

><p>Words: 2,643<p>

Notes: I know that this one is shorter than the others, but it seemed like a good place to stop. So what do you think so far? This chapter isn't as deep as some of the others. There's not as much imagery or deep seering emotions, but I figured that it needed to be a little lighter. Xu is so much fun to write. She makes me laugh. I think the story is really going to take off in the next chapter, so stay tuned.


	7. Surrender

**Chapter 7**

**Surrender - **_to allow yourself to show your feelings and to do what you really want to do; to give up_

Seifer narrowed his eyes.

After Squall's announcement, the party had inevitably divided into two different groups. The men had stepped off near the poolside, and the women had all sat on patio furniture near the firepit.

Married?

Squall was getting married?

The idea of getting married in their twenties was unfathomable to Seifer.

"Are you completely crazy, Leonhart?" Seifer said, taking a swig of his beer.

Squall smiled at him. "Is it so crazy to want to be with the woman I love permanently?"

"Hell yeah, it's crazy." Zell raised his hand up to high five Seifer. "Bachelors for life!"

Seifer glanced at Zell's raised hand briefly. "So, you're in love _now_, but what about a year from now? You are tying yourself down way too early."

Squall leaned back in his lounge seat, crossing his feet at the ankles. "I have been with Rinoa for five years, Seifer. It's time." He said quietly. "We both know that it's time."

Seifer grumbled. "Irvine, tell him. Tell him he's a moron."

Irvine sat near Squall, watching the night sky. He sat his cowboy hat more firmly on his head and laughed. "I'm with Squall on this one."

Seifer threw his hands up in the air. "Come on!" Seifer exclaimed. "I can barely get you to go to bars now, there's no way you're going to go when you're married."

Squall smiled widely, which was a rare occurrence for him. "What can I say? I'm evolving."

Seifer sat down on one of the pool side seats. "But how do you even know that this is the right choice? Rinoa is alright, but there are tons of women out there looking to make it with a war hero."

Zell's eyes widened. "Any war hero? Or just the main one?"

"Tons of women that I have _zero interest_ in." Squall replied, staring at the sky.

Zell went on. "You know, I fought in the war." He said quietly.

"When you meet the right woman, you just know. I think that I knew the moment I saw Rinoa that she was the woman I wanted to be with." Squall said, sipping his drink.

Seifer sighed loudly. "What a bunch of crap."

"Hey, uh Seifer." Zell leaned closer to him. "Where would I meet these women?"

Seifer laughed.

Irvine pulled his hat down over his eyes. "Trust us, Zell. You don't want to mess around with those kinds of girls."

"I think that I should be given the opportunity to decide that for myself." Zell reasoned diplomatically.

"So, you really are getting married, then?" Seifer asked, taking a swig of his beer. "There's no talking you out of it?"

"I'm happy." Squall said firmly.

Seifer shook his head. It was a damn shame. He hoped that Squall wouldn't regret his decision later in life, but if he was really going to admit it to himself, he was proud of his friend. Like all of them, Squall had been left all alone when he was small, forced to live out his childhood in a depressing orphanage with no family, then carted off to a military academy when he got old enough. It wasn't a childhood that Seifer would wish on anyone.

Sure, the orphanage gang had made the best out of what they had. They would play all day, build elaborate sand castles, and steal fireworks from local merchant ships.

But no matter how fun the days had been, the nights were always hard. There were many nights when Seifer would be awakened from his childhood slumber by the sounds of kids crying for their parents in the middle of the night.

He had to confess that the idea of starting a family had some appeal. It would be the first family he had ever known.

Of course his life was always teetering on the edge of falling apart. Marriage, children, these kinds of things were not in the cards for him.

"Whatever." Seifer said, shaking his head.

* * *

><p>Quistis held Rinoa's hand near her eyes as she examined her engagement ring.<p>

"It's beautiful." She admitted.

Rinoa sighed and sank further into her seat. Selphie had popped open a bottle of champagne and poured each of the ladies a very generous glass.

Quistis smiled as Rinoa recounted how Squall had proposed to her.

Quistis' initial reaction to the news had been completely speechless. She had seen the signs playing out and known that it was coming. Squall and Rinoa had moved in together, Squall had started following arbitrary rules that Rinoa put in place ("This is how friends are supposed to act, Squall.", "Your tie is supposed to match my dress.", "You will be expected to participate in the Garden Festival with me.") He had surrendered to each of her commands with a kind smile on his face. So, the news of their engagement wasn't exactly a game-changer.

Still, watching her friends fall hopeless in love made her feel a little jealous.

Her career was on track, but the rest of her life was in shambles. She had just broken things off with the one man that she had ever felt anything other than puppy love for in order to find a partner that wanted more than just sex.

She was alone.

They were going to be living in marital bliss soon, and Quistis felt like she was getting left behind. Her life wasn't following the path that she had always thought that it would.

Quistis took a large sip of her champagne. Her head started to fell bubbly.

As Rinoa's story died out, Selphie changed the subject in a very direct kind of way.

"So, Xu told us that you were on the prowl for a man, Quisty." Selphie brought up as if it was everyday news.

Quistis cut her eyes sharply at Xu, who was hammered and sitting beside her. Her shoes had been abandoned on the floor. She did have decency to look ashamed for gossiping. "Did she?" Quistis said wryly.

Xu turned her drink up in order to avoid the conversation.

"We think it's a great idea!" Selphie gushed at her.

A couple yards away, Zell slowly inched towards the women.

Rinoa nodded enthusiastically. "We could help you find a guy." She suggested.

Quistis shook her head immediately. You had to nip these kinds of ideas in the bud before they spiraled out of control. "That's not going to happen."

Rinoa ignored her protests. "Oh, I have the best idea!"

Quistis dropped her head into her hand, waiting for the crazy train to plow through the conversation. Xu snickered.

"We could play our own version of that reality show that broadcasts out of Deling City!" Rinoa exclaimed.

Selphie gasped. "That would be so. much. fun." She said dramatically.

Xu and Quistis took a moment to share a look of fear.

"The one with the roses?" Zell yelled, suddenly near them. Squall, Seifer, and Irvine walked over to them to see what the commotion was about.

Rinoa and Selphie both nodded.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Quistis admitted, feeling the effects of the alcohol she had been socially drinking all night.

The boys all took seat around the fire pit as Rinoa explained. "The television show is about falling in love."

Xu noticed Seifer clenching his jaw. His eyes grew dark in the fire light. _Interesting._

Selphie jumped in. "There's always this woman that's super perfect. Like you, Quisty."

Quistis doubted it.

"And then they pick out a bunch of eligible bachelors and the woman goes on dates with them and decides who she's in love with." Rinoa continued.

"I'm not sure that's the way love is supposed to happen, Rinoa." Quistis noted.

"And she gives them a rose if she likes 'em." Zell finished. Seifer gave him a look. Why the hell was he watching that television show?

Quistis had heard enough at this point. In the kindest manner she could muster, she declined. "I don't think I want to do this. It kind of sounds like it would be a disaster."

Seifer sighed in relief subtly.

Xu smirked at his reaction.

"I don't know if my opinion carries any weight, Quistis." Xu started. "But I think you should do it."

Quistis gaped at her. "Really? This is your honest opinion about a 'dating game'." Quistis scolded.

"Yes." Xu confirmed. "I think that this is the best idea our Cadet Heartily has had in all the years that I have known her." Xu said honestly.

Rinoa smiled widely at Xu. It was fun to make new friends. "Thank you, Xu!"

Selphie suddenly jumped up. "We could all pick a guy!"

Seifer finally spoke up and waved his hands. "Let me just stop you all right there. I hate to be the voice of reason, but this is a _horrible idea_. And I'm sure that Quistis does not want to suffer through the embarrassment of having her friends choose men for her." Quistis raised her eyebrows. "She's not as desperate as you all assume her to be."

Was he on her side? He wanted to save her from this obvious train wreck?

"Besides," Seifer added his final sentiments on the matter. "The only men that are attracted to Quistis are always scrawny scientists or adolescent students. She doesn't attract men that are actually worth anything." He finished spitefully.

Quistis huffed. Xu glared a hole through him.

_Of course, he would say that._

Quistis' head was spinning out of control.

Rinoa jumped in diplomatically. "Seifer, we would all be choosing the guys that she went out with. You don't understand the game." She said, shaking her hand at him. "All seven of us will pick a guy that Quistis will have no prior knowledge of. This will give her the best chance at dating men from all different backgrounds so that she can fall in love." Her drunken explanation was really beginning to make sense.

"Six men, not seven. I'm not playing this dumb game." Seifer said finally. "And Quistis," He gestured to her. "obviously would never go along with something this idiotic—"

"I'll do it." She said firmly. She glared at him from across the fire. He didn't think that she could find someone to be with? He wanted to cast poorly concealed insults her way just because she didn't want to have a meaningless affair with him? Well she would show him. She would date as many guys as she wanted, and he would see that there were people out there that actually _wanted to be with her. _ And the guy that she ended up with sure as hell would not be a _scrawny scientist_. He would be the most perfect man that she had ever met.

And Seifer would regret ever insinuating that she wasn't desirable. The bastard.

Xu pumped her fist in the air. "This is going to be so great. Quistis!" She called out.

She tore her eyes from Seifer.

Xu smiled at her. "It's time to set some ground rules." Xu had clearly decided that she was leading this meeting.

"Like what?" Rinoa asked.

"For example," Xu said, sitting up properly in her seat. "No students."

Quistis nodded dumbly. "That's a given."

Selphie snapped her fingers. "Paper, we need paper for the rules, Rinoa!" Rinoa ran inside and brought back Squall's official letterhead. She slammed a bunch of pens down on one of the tables, as Selphie hurriedly began to take notes on _The Rules._

Zell got ahead of himself. "What about Brent Hastings?" He suggested. "He's the most well-built guy in SeeD."

Everyone quietly stared at Zell. Seifer spoke up. "First of all: Gay. Secondly, _I_ am the most well built guy in SeeD." Seifer grumbled.

Squall grinned. "I thought you weren't playing this _stupid game_, Seifer."

Seifer shook his head. "I'm not." He said, threading a hot dog on a firepit kabob nearby and roasting it over the open flames.

"I don't want to play either, by the way." Squall said, looking hopefully at Rinoa.

"You're playing." Rinoa growled at him.

"Fine." Squall surrendered instantly.

Xu interjected. "Besides, you can't pick Hastings, Zell."

Zell pouted. "Why not?"

"He has a small penis." Xu said simply.

Quistis shook her head. "How do you even know that?"

"The guy put on like 100 pounds of muscle in a summer. He's on steroids. Ergo, tiny penis." Xu explained.

Quistis mouthed 'o'.

Selphie looked up from her notes. "So, is that a rule then?"

Squall laughed into his drink. "That can't be a rule." He said.

"Why not?" Irvine asked, tilting his head.

Seifer just sat quietly and glared at everyone.

"Because, there's no way that any of us could confirm something like that." Squall said, rolling his eyes.

"You could take a peek in the locker rooms." Selphie suggested.

Irvine shook his head at her. "No."

Zell sighed. "It's not on our SeeD records? Because my initial examination was very thorough. I just assumed that it would be in our personnel files."

"It's not." Squall said, glaring.

Xu nodded at Squall's point. "Well said, Leonhart. Go ahead and put it on the list though, Tilmitt. Everyone just do your best to find out about a canidate's skillset before you nominate them."

"We could always use the hand test." Selphie suggested.

"What are you talking about?" Irvine asked, looking at his girlfriend.

"Guys with big hands have big … things. And guys with dainty hands have small things." Selphie said cheerfully.

All the men glanced at their palms.

Xu suddenly smiled evilly. Quistis prepared herself.

"Quistis' last boyfriend didn't have anything in that department to write home about if you know what I mean. So, we really need to make sure this next guy fits the bill."

Seifer gaped at Quistis, obviously horrified. She laughed into her hand. He deserved that. It was a complete lie, but he totally deserved to be embarrassed after being an asshole to her all evening.

"Your hotdog is on fire, Seifer." Irvine advised him.

Seifer quickly stepped away from the fire to toss the charred mess into a trashcan.

"Weiner problems." Xu summarized.

"Anyone have any more rules?" Rinoa asked.

"Piercings?" Selphie asked. Quistis quickly responded. "No piercings."

She suddenly started to have idea after idea about what she wanted in a man. "He needs to at least be a little successful. He doesn't have to be a CEO or anything, but he needs a career." Selphie scribbled it down. "He can't be a coward. I don't think I could ever be with someone like that. I would prefer it if he were strong."

Seifer glanced down at his body. Check, check, check.

She paused trying to think of other criteria for her friends to follow. This was actually kind of fun.

"Oh!" She said. "No Trepies."

"Really narrowing down the playing field, Q." Xu noted.

Quistis smiled. "It's not a horribly restrictive rule. Besides, fanboys are the worst."

"Tell me about it." Zell said.

Everyone stared at him once again.

"But with girls." Zell explained. "Fan_girls_."

Silence.

"I'm not gay." Zell shook his head. "I'm just having a weird night." He took a deep breath. "Saying all the wrong things." He covered his mouth, willing it to stop talking.

"Right." Seifer quipped. "So are you all done with your _critieria_ for the perfect man, Quistis?" Seifer asked, staring at her blankly.

"He also can't be an asshole." Quistis said, starring directly at him. "That's the final rule, I think."

Xu clapped her hands. "Then it's settled! Everyone here—"

"I'm not playing." Seifer reminded her.

"No one cares." Xu said immediately. "Everyone here other than Seifer will pick out a man for Quistis to go out on a date with." She paused for effect. "Stay sharp, people. And follow those guidelines."

"This is like a scavenger hunt from hell." Seifer said bleakly, turning up his beer.

Quistis couldn't help but agree. She was positive she would regret all of this in the morning.

"We're all going to need a copy of that list." Irvine said, pointing at _The Rules._

"Yeah, we are." Squall agreed. "Xu. I need 10 copies of this." He said, handing it to Xu.

She glared at him. "Fine." She started to stomp to the elevator barefooted.

Squall laughed at his underling. Then color suddenly drained out of his face. He jumped up and ripped the list back out of Xu's hands. "Wait."

Squall tore "From the Desk of Commander Squall Leonhart" from the top of the page. Directly below that in Selphie's bubblegum writing it said "Applicants must have a large penis" and "No assholes".

That would have been a nightmare. He was happy that he had avoided that kind of PR problem.

He handed the paper back to Xu. "Now you can copy it."

She flipped him off and got in the elevator.

As the night dragged on, Quistis felt more and more tired. It had been a busy day, and the next couple of weeks were sure to be hectic. Xu wandered away from her to do shots with Selphie. As it turned out, Xu was a very welcome addition into their gang.

Quistis eventually hugged her hosts and told everyone goodbye before she crawled into the elevator to begin her trek back to the dormitories.

She stood in the elevator and smiled at the twinkling lights and beautiful patio scene of all of her friends together.

The doors started to slide shut.

Before a hand reached in to stop the elevator door from closing.

She felt her breath hitch.

Seifer stepped in, hit the lobby button, and waited for the room to begin its descent.

She tried to stay still. She wasn't going to look at him. Then the temptation finally became too much. She turned to him.

He looked back solemnly. "So you're really going to do this?" He asked quietly.

She shrugged. "It's the best idea anyone has came up with so far."

"You are going to let our stupid friends set you up on dates with god-knows-who." He reiterated harshly. "You're unbelievable."

She felt herself getting mad. "I'm sure you would rather I just grieve over our failed relationship for the rest of my life." She yelled at him.

He scoffed. "Relationship? I would hardly define it like that." He took a step closer to her.

"That's exactly the problem between you and me." Quistis said loudly, glaring up at him defiantly.

They stood mere inches from each other. Both were breathing heavily.

They were both frozen in place. Seifer felt magnetism pulling at their bodies. He could feel the heat pouring off of Quistis.

He reached past her to hit the Emergency Stop button. The elevator jarred to a halt. A red emergency light started to cascade across the room.

He brushed her hair over her shoulder and cupped her chin in his hand before he crashed his lips into hers.

She responded instantly, melting into him.

He kissed her forcefully, sliding his hands up the backs of her thighs to cup her ass under her dress.

He quickly lifted her up and pushed her against the wall of the elevator, grinding into her pelvis roughly. She broke their kiss by gasping out at the contact. She locked her legs around his hips.

Seifer reclaimed her mouth and kissed her until he felt oxygen deprived.

Her body was pressed so tightly against his. He had missed her so much.

They both began pulling at the clothing that was separating them. In seconds, his pants had been shoved down and her dress hiked up to her waist.

He drove his body into hers. She whimpered, pulling him closer.

He kissed her mouth possessively as he skillfully brought them both to what they needed. He needed this so badly. Needed her so badly. He rutted against her, holding her by her welcoming thighs against the cool metal wall.

The past weeks had been maddening without her. If he could just make her feel it again. Maybe she would stop all this bullshit and come back.

She cried out as she met her end.

He whispered her name as her body spasmed all around him. "Quistis.."

Sex between them was always so perfect. It was fueled by an unending passion and total sexual compatibility. He missed it so much. She caught her breath peacefully. He watched her face.

She was so fucking beautiful.

He felt the bile rise in his throat as the magic of the moment faded away. He lowered her carefully back down to the floor as she tried to regain her footing.

She wasn't his. She was looking for something else in life.

Something that didn't involve him.

And it was a fucking shame.

He hit the emergency stop button again. The elevator continued down to the lobby.

He buttoned his pants up. "You're throwing away so much." He whispered bitterly.

She looked at him hopelessly.

"Whoever you end up with, I hope that he's worth it." He said, storming out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

* * *

><p><strong>Words :<strong> 3,444

**Notes: **Thanks for the reviews. This is the most I've ever consistently wrote on a story. I'm pretty proud. I'm even continuing another story on my account that I had abandoned for months (and for years before that). I made myself laugh over all that stuff being written on Squall's official letterhead. It was so funny. And S/Q finally had another moment together! So, leave me some thoughts on what you think. I'm going to go brainstorm about chapter 8. Leave me your ideas on what _you think_ should happen (And maybe it will?). Thanks for reading!


	8. Promise

**Chapter 8**

**Promise**_ – to make a pledge_

He smirked at her as he crawled up from the end of the bed.

Moonlight poured in from her window. His skin glowed as the blue light revealed details of him the in darkness.

She tried not to squirm. She could feel her body growing hot. His eyes were penetrating, promising her of what was to come.

His gaze was predatory.

He trailed his fingertips slowly up her leg. He place hot kisses across her thighs.

She jerked her hips involuntarily. He laughed cruelly at her.

"_Eager?"_

"Seifer," She whispered. "Please." She needed him.

Touch me. She willed him with her eyes.

He pulled her leg up over his shoulder and nipped at her delicate inner thigh with his teeth. He slid his hot tongue across her tender flesh. Her body was so ready. She was pulsating with need. His teases were tortuous.

Her leg thudded to the bed as he dropped it and continued his journey up her body.

Please.

He placed scorching kisses onto her stomach just above her panties. She could feel his hard on, dragging across her lower body. So close, he was so close to where she wanted him. He dipped his tongue under the top lace of her panties. She moaned deeply at his sensual assault. But he wouldn't touch her where she needed it. He was teasing her. Always teasing her.

His large warm hands covered her breasts through her thin silk night gown. She arched her chest up against his gentle caresses. She needed more pressure. More friction. He pushed her gown up around her waist. He slid his hand underneath it and trailed featherlike fingertips across her sensitive nipples. She groaned in frustration. He laughed.

He kissed her collar bone and up the hollow of her throat. Her pulse was rapid. She drove her hips into his, begging with her body.

He watched her intently, smiling at everything she did.

His hands ghosted over her belly to her white panties below.

He kissed her hungrily. He was devouring her.

She was so turned on. Her panties felt sticky. She wanted him so badly, and he was taking forever.

He lifted his eyes to hers, caught her gaze.

Touch me.

He inched his fingers under her waistband. She gasped as he quickly shoved digits up into her warmth. His thumb found her clitoris and started rocking roughly across it.

She whimpered and pulled him closer.

He laughed into her ear. _"Hyne, you're so wet tonight."_ He teased.

He curled his fingers and found a spot that made her cry out against his chest. She lifted his shirt and inched her hand up his warm torso. He mercilessly attacked her most sensitive areas.

His direct stimulation was a welcome change from the feathery teases from before. She rocked her hips enthusiastically against his hand.

"I've missed you so much." She breathed against his skin. She was so close. She lowered her hand to his pajama bottoms and caressed his erection.

"_Are you new boyfriends not getting you off?"_ He breathed against her neck.

She shook her head. She clumsily reached between them to pull at his drawstring. He pulled away from her to hastily remove his clothing. She sighed as his hand was briefly pulled away from her.

She leaned onto her elbows and watched him. Her body was on edge. She knew she was right on the brink of an orgasm, and she could feel it receding. She hungrily watched his body return to her.

He pulled her panties off her body and effortlessly dragged her by the hips down the bed to him. He positioned his hard cock against her core.

He smiled up at her and rubbed the head of it across her clitoris. Her body slammed back into overdrive. She lifted her pelvis off the bed and tried to clumsily join them together. He sabotaged her attempts by holding her hips firmly against the bed.

He continued to rub the velvety skin of his penis across her sensitive nub.

"_Tell me you want me, Quistis." _

She met his gaze. "I'll always want you."

He smirked and pushed into her deeply. She bit her lip and leaned her head back. So good. It was always so good.

She watched his abdominal muscles contract and relax as he steadily pumped in and out of her.

Each thrust stretched her in the most pleasant way.

"_You're so tight, beautiful."_ He breathed heavily. He had his hands on her hips, pulling her against him to meet his rhythm.

A cord pulled tighter in her abdomen. Oh, she loved him.

He hissed against her neck, breathing harshly as his hips started to lose their rhythm. He was ready to come undone. _"Missed you so much- Do you want to come, Quistis? Do you want me to make you come?" _His breath was hot against her skin. She was on fire.

"Please… Please." She breathed into his ear.

"_No one else could ever make you feel this way."_ It was a reminder and a promise.

He drove into her more forcefully and bumped against her cervix. The cord snapped. She arched into him as colors burst behind her eyelids.

He groaned against her skin. "_It's so good, it's so fucking good, Quistis." _Her body pulsated around his cock. "_Oh - I'm going to—"_

He started pounding into her roughly. Her body pulled him deeper and deeper.

And -

And then -

Her eyes snapped open. Her skin was soaked with sweat. Her panties were sticky and wet.

This hadn't been the first dream she had about him lately.

She squeezed her thighs together. She felt so empty, so unfulfilled. She kicked her blankets off and drifted her hands down between her thighs. She closed her eyes and tried to get lost in the dream again. He had touched her so perfectly. She tried to replicate his hands. Hers felt cold and inadequately small. She rocked her hips against her fingers, desperately trying to grasp onto what she had felt moments before.

Please.

He had slammed his cock into her.

She flipped over and grinded uselessly against herself.

His abs had flexed every time he drove into her.

She fumbled, begging her body to stop aching.

He had said dirty, dirty things to her.

She threw herself back on the bed and sighed.

It was no use. Her body was too worked up. And her own hands were useless.

And he wasn't there.

She climbed out of her bed. She tripped on her discarded blankets before kicking them back at the bed angrily.

She was being haunted.

Haunted by memories of him.

Memories of him sneaking into her room in the middle of the night after she had given him her entry passcode.

Memories of him fucking her desperately on the second flood balcony in between classes.

Memories of being bent over his small kitchen table.

She couldn't close her eyes without thinking about him.

He had taken her roughly in the elevator. A red light from the emergency system had cascaded every other second across them. He had whispered against her skin one last time. And she couldn't forget it.

She had came so quickly in the elevator. She had melted against him and wanted nothing more than to let her resolve crumble. As she tried to balance on shaking legs he had buttoned his pants back up.

_You're throwing away so much. I hope he's worth it._

And whoever he ended up being, she doubted that he would be worth it.

Her body had been in a horny incurable mess for a week.

The only reprieve from her desperation was when she was on the stupid dates that she had been talked into.

_The first, a man named Scooter who worked as a mechanic in Balamb had been a friend of Zell's after he had been adopted by the Dinchts. Zell had sang his praises at lunch, telling them about how Scooter had always been a good guy, and that he had old fashioned values about how to treat a woman. Zell explained that he was likely to pamper Quistis and care for her like a lady. Everyone seemed impressed at the thought that Zell had put into his choice._

_Scooter wasn't bad looking, he had a scrappy build that she wasn't used to, but he was lean and had a deep raspy voice. But as soon as she had met him and shook his hand at the restaurant, she knew that he wasn't a match for her. _

_He had been glaringly polite the entire date, stumbling over himself to pull out her chair. He had called her "ma'am" the whole time. And while she did appreciate his good manners, the date had been horribly boring. She did feel relief being in his presence, but it was only because her uterus had frozen over the moment that he reached his hand across the table to take hers. His skin had been cold and uninviting and for the first time in days, she had felt the strong grip of Seifer's seduction unclench. _

She stripped her sticky clothes off of her body and stepped under the bitter cold spray. She sighed in relief as the heat evaporated off of her skin. When she felt finally felt like she was about to succumb to hypothermia, she bumped the temperature to a comfortable, human range. She quickly washed her body off and grabbed a fluffy towel from the wall.

_Thomas. Thomas was the second candidate that he been recommended to her. _

_Her friends, including Seifer, had been sitting at a picnic table in the quad listening to Selphie describe to them stories of Thomas._

_Seifer had avoided her gaze throughout the conversation. It was obvious that he didn't want to be included in these meetings, but no one ever told him that they were going to be talking about new men for Quistis. He would show up to socialize, and grumble when they started gushing about yet another candidate. He couldn't very well storm away from them every time someone brought it up. He had said his pleasantries to her, but other than that he tried to keep his distance._

_She couldn't blame him. She also wished that he wouldn't come to these meetings. Every time she was close to him, her mind would drift to the elevator. Seifer taking her quickly against the cool metal wall. His hands holding her thighs. It was maddening to be close to him._

_Thomas was a news reporter out of Deling City that Selphie had met when she was deployed. He had a sense of adventure and had been to the corners of the world to report the happenings to the masses. Selphie had told them about his rippling muscles and sense of adventure. Irvine had gaped at her many times. She had assured him that nothing happened and that she had simply talked to him over a couple of drinks at the bar. Irvine had been stony for the rest of the presentation. _

_Quistis had felt excited. Thomas sounded sexy and quick-witted. He probably had just a many adventures as she had. On paper, he seemed perfect._

She pulled on her exercise gear. And pulled her hair up into a pony tail. She stretched quickly and then began her run to the beach. She hoped that some tiresome exercise would burn off some of the energy that she felt clenched in her gut.

_The date with Thomas had been horrendous. _

_He had taken her to a very classy bar, which was fine. _

_But she had been shocked when began drilling her about her part in the war. She probably should have expected it from a successful reporter. She answered all the questions the way that she always did. She rattled off the approved answers, and sipped her white wine. She stared at herself in the mirror behind the bar, and knew that the date was a waste of time. _

_He had drunk a tremendous amount of scotch while she helplessly waited for the night to end. They paid for their drinks. He led her over to his rental car. He offered to drive her back to the school. _

_She looked at him dumbfounded. He was drunk off his ass, trying to get her to get in a car with him? She politely declined. She lied and told him that she had fun. _

_As she turned to leave, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. _

_He pinned her against his car and kissed her forcefully. He had slid his hand up under her skirt, fingertips dragging against her thigh. _

_He forced his tongue into her mouth. He tasted like whiskey. She quickly shoved him off of her, and stormed away as quickly as her legs could carry her. She borrowed a car from the lot that the Garden kept in town and returned home feeling gross. _

_His hands on her body had been sickening._

The date with Thomas had been the night before. She had scrubbed her skin raw trying to forget the feeling of his hands on her thighs. When she had gotten back to her dorm, she had been sure that memories of Seifer wouldn't plague her when she slept.

Her skin crawled as she fell asleep.

But her mind had drifted.

She stretched her muscles as her run came to an end. She walked into the cafeteria, sweaty and exhausted. Selphie waved at her from their usual table.

She grabbed a plate of lasagna and walked over to the table. The only seat open was next to Seifer. Xu's eyes snapped up to hers, and for a second it looked like she was going to switch seats so that Quistis wouldn't have to sit next to her ex. Quistis subtly wave her off though. She didn't want to draw any more attention to the awkwardness than she had to.

He avoided her gaze and stared out of a window nearby. His hair looked a little damp, as if he had just come from a shower. He smelled heavenly, like vanilla and cinnamon and leather and Seifer. _The elevator. His hands. Her whimpers against his hot skin._ She tried to shake the memories out of her head.

"So how'd it go, Quisty? He's dreamy huh?"

Quistis snapped her gaze away from him. "What?" She asked dumbly.

"Thomas." Selphie explained. "He's like super dreamy."

Seifer shifted uncomfortably beside her. He was so close to her. Her thigh was almost touching his at their crowded lunch table. Her body felt so warm being near him. Quistis tried to focus on Selphie's questions.

"He was kind of a tool." She said, shrugging.

Selphie scoffed. "Oh, you'll find something wrong with anyone! He's perfect for you, what could you possibly hate about him?"

Quistis laughed bitterly, recalling the night before.

"He was hot, right?" Selphie begged for answer.

"He was attractive, sure." Quistis admitted. Seifer crossed his arms. "But he acted like it was an interview the entire time."

"He's a reporter." Selphie explained.

"He asked me gruesomely detailed questions about the war." Quistis shook her head. "About how it felt to be on the battlefield. To see casualties." She waved her hand. "It was entirely inappropriate."

Selphie wavered. "He wanted to get to know you." She tried to excuse him.

"He got ridiculously, belligerently drunk." Quistis went on. "Then he offered me a ride home."

Xu shook her head, appalled.

"I declined, _obviously, _because I didn't want to die in a fiery car crash." She continued.

Squall shook his head.

"Then he practically sexually assaulted me against his car." She dropped the axe.

"What the fuck?" Xu called out, suddenly. "Who the fuck is this guy, again? Is he at the hotel in Balamb?"

Seifer tensed up and met her gaze for the first time. His eyes were stony and hard. His jaw was clenched.

"Calm down." She told Xu (and Seifer). "I handled it. He just got super handsy and pinned me against a car." She explained as the table erupted into threats.

Seifer calmly began to gather his stuff, but his eyes were furious.

"It wasn't a big deal." Quistis explained.

"Right." Seifer spoke up. "Some asshole put his hands on you when you didn't want him too, forced you up against a car, and it's not _a big deal_."

"I explained it wrong." She told him nervously.

"I'm sure he was a catch." He said sarcastically. "He probably thought you would just beg him for it after _recounting war memories_." Seifer said harshly. He started to rise from the table. He was going to go to the Balamb Hotel and drag that fucker out of bed.

He would beat the shit out of him until he was full of broken bones.

He would kick him in the stomach until he spit up blood.

He would tie an anchor to his feet and toss him into the fucking ocean.

"Seifer." She warned. She placed her hand on his arm.

He quickly pulled away from her, and sat back down in his chair. "Did you at least hit him, Trepe?" He asked angrily.

"No, I didn't." He threw his hands up. "He was drunk, and a civilian."

"Oh that doesn't fucking matter." Xu spat out from across the table.

"I just shoved him away and left. You guys are making a big deal out of nothing."

"I'm so sorry, Quistis. I had no idea he would be like that with you." Selphie said quietly from across the table.

"It's fine. It was a moment. It was nothing." Quistis tried to calm every back down. She probably shouldn't have told them. "_How was your date, Quistis?" "I don't think I like him." _That's what she should have said. There was no need to be brutally honest.

She pulled her cooling food closer to her and began eating. Seifer vibrated with rage beside her. Heat poured off of him. His warm thigh was up against hers after he had hastily sat back down.

_The elevator._

Everyone kept talking. She tried to focus.

_The red light rotated across the room. It poured across his face as he took her fast and hard._

She reached out under the table and touched his hand.

His furious eyes met hers. They were brutal. Pissed. But then they widened and softened.

She tried to slow her breathing.

She tried to will her body to stop.

He read her like a book. He stood up from the table and excused himself.

"Do not go assault that reporter, Seifer." Squall warned. "I promise you, I will not bail you out of jail if you get arrested."

"I'm not." Seifer called out over his shoulder. He walked swiftly to a nearby faculty lounge. He knew that she wouldn't be far behind him.

It had been one of their usual spots.

She entered the room behind him minutes later. He leaned against the wall waiting for her.

"You know, you're the most confusing woman I've ever met." He said spitefully.

She shushed him and locked the door.

She stood at the door, waiting for him to cross the room to her.

He stayed put. He wasn't going to be the one that made the first move.

She was going to have to admit that she needed him.

She looked vulnerable, standing near him in lyrica black running pants and a loose white tank top. He wasn't even mildly grossed out that she probably hadn't showered since her morning run. He trailed his eyes down her body.

He watched emotions play across her face before she finally stomped over to him and kissed him furiously.

He started to unbutton his pants, but kept their mouths together.

"What would all of your new boyfriends think?" He teased as she pulled her tank top over her head.

He licked the salt from her neck.

She moaned and hiked her leg up on his waist.

He picked her up and sat her on the faculty kitchen counter nearby. He shoved the coffeepot out of the way.

"Be quiet." She scolded him.

He kissed down her chest, and pulled her stretchy pants off of her body. He quickly reached between her legs. "You've been out with two of them." He stated as he drug his blunt fingernail across the center seam of her panties.

She pulled his mouth to hers, trying to make him be quiet. Kissing Seifer wasn't like kissing anyone else. She could not recall any other man in her life that had ever taken her breath away quite like he could.

He didn't surrender. "Have you fucked any of them yet?"

She growled at him and pulled away from him. "No. I haven't." She glared at him. "You've been there when I recounted the stories of both dates."

"You could have lied." He reasoned.

"I haven't wanted anyone else." She said suddenly. She sighed. She hadn't meant to say that.

He searched her eyes and waited for an explanation.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." She said, shifting slightly on the counter. The coffee pot had tipped over when Seifer pushed it away. Cold coffee from earlier that morning was spilling into the floor.

She pulled his hand towards her. "Touch me." She begged.

"What about _the game_?"

"We'll figure it out. But right now I need you to touch my body." She whispered.

It was clear to him that she was wound up tightly. Her body was begging him for release.

He leaned forward and kissed her gently. Without breaking contact, he slid her panties off of her legs.

Her breath hitched. She smiled against his lips. He trailed his kisses down to her shoulder and slid into her slowly. He eased in a little bit more every other moment. She sighed in sweet relief.

She didn't know if she would ever be able to stop running back to him. He had been right. She didn't feel this way about anyone else.

He began to rock his hips gently against hers. He kissed her lightly.

She knew unequivocally that she was in love with him.

Seifer tried to savor every moment. He knew that he wouldn't get many more opportunities with her. She was slipping away from him. He pushed into her deeply, eliciting a low moan from her.

He just wanted her to be happy.

He lifted her legs up higher on his waist. And rocked into her steadily.

If her being happy was contingent on trying to find someone that she could love and fucking him in the closet every once in a while.. then maybe that was just something he would have to do for her.

Her moans were breathier as he shifted their angle. She mewed into his ear and kissed across his strong shoulders.

He would take every moment that he could get with her until he lost her completely.

He would stop punishing her for trying to find love.

He would cherish what he had. For as long as she allowed him to have it.

"Seifer," She whispered into his ear as she came.

He kissed her softly.

**Words**: 3,804

**Notes**: What am I doing? This story is completely out of my control. I finished this chapter and said "Quistis!? ARE YOU BLIND?" The final sex scene was so sweet. It's ridiculous. And I'm the one writing it. I hope this chapter wasn't too repetitive. I know that the previous one ended the same way. Quistis' resistance is crumbling. She doesn't think that he loves her, but after dating a couple of buffoons, she can't get him out of her head. And Seifer - Ugh. He's just so in love and willing to look past how horrible Quistis is being. Of course their perspectives are built on misunderstandings. She doesn't know that she's hurting him. Also, I've been reading a lot this past week, so the language might have been a little bit more explicit because there are scenes that are just so fresh in my head. So sorry about that, if it's even a problem.


	9. Deviant

**Chapter 9**

**Deviant** - _departing __from usual or accepted standards, especially in social or sexual behavior_

* * *

><p>She hadn't known what to make of what happened in the teacher's lounge, but it had kept happening. He was just being too nice about it. He was so agreeable. He didn't push, didn't beg her to tell him why she had changed her mind about them. He just gave her what she needed and promptly left her alone afterwards.<p>

And hell, she didn't even know why she had changed her mind. Originally it had all seemed black and white—if she wanted to put all of her energy into finding a man who loved her, she would probably need to stop messing around with the one who didn't. Simple. Logical.

Except that it wasn't that simple. She couldn't stay away from him.

Although Quistis was still pursuing her dream of finding true love, she couldn't deny Seifer anymore.

He had a hold on her.

After they had left the teacher's lounge, he had told her that he wasn't going to be mad at her anymore. He wanted her to be happy. He said that he knew that she needed him—that he needed her too. And he would do whatever she wanted. A symbiotic relationship. Both of them would benefit from the regular release, and she could still go out on dates with all of her "new boyfriends".

And then he disappeared under the blankets until all questions/protests were forgotten memories.

She watched the waves slam into the shore and basked in the warm, perfect weather.

Rinoa was trying to get everyone to play volley ball with her. Squall was standing around, looking thin and pale in blue trunks. Selphie had Irvine giving her piggyback rides all over the beach.

Xu was sitting under the shade of an umbrella glaring at everyone. Unlike the orphanage gang, she did not appreciate the open water. It was obviously full of sharks and fish-excrement.

She had only joined them to make sure that "Almasy kept his fucking hands to himself." She told Quistis that he had started watching her again. Quistis hated that everything had devolved into another big secret.

Quistis looked over at Seifer.

It wasn't likely that he would keep his hands off of her. She had been teasing him all day. She had worn a white two piece. She had readjusted her top, rubbed sunscreen on her legs. She hadn't gotten in the water once.

He was currently lying beside her. He had sunglasses on, and black trunks that showed off his narrow waist. Above he was all tan rippling muscles. He was breathtaking. And he knew it.

It was horribly annoying.

She leaned back on her elbows, elongated her elegant neck, and pushed her chest out subtly. She watched him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Stop it." He whispered to her.

"What?" She turned the page of her book.

"I know what you're doing. It's not going to work." He sat up and brushed some of the white sand off of his arms.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She watched as Zell showed off for some of the younger SeeDs. He did somersaults and kart wheels effortlessly.

"What's the endgame to you trying to turn me on at the beach, huh?" Seifer said, rolling over. "What could you possibly foresee happening?"

She shrugged. "It just seemed like fun."

"Well stop, or I'm going to do it too."

She scoffed. "I'm terrified."

He sat up on his knees and stretched his arms up high behind his head. He slowly rotated his hips in circles. His abdominals constricted and elongated. Her mouth felt dry. "Oh no, I'm completely unaware of how sexual this stretch is." He said under his breath.

Xu stomped over to them and threw herself onto the sand towel beside Quistis. "Put all that away, Almasy."

He smiled at her. "All of what?"

"That." She said, gesturing to his entire body.

He laughed. "I'm gonna go cool off." Before he left, he touched his body, made a sizzling noise, and looked directly at Xu. He walked to the water away from them.

"Oh get the fuck out of here." She growled at him "He's really desperate for you, huh? I thought you two ended it." Xu said, watching teenage cadets push each other into the ocean.

"We did. We're just being friendly again." Quistis said. "No need to keep up hostilities."

"Hmph." Xu grunted. "Heard from that guy yet?"

She was talking about Ethan.

Ethan was a friend of Irvine's. He set them up to go out last Friday, but Ethan kept rescheduling. He was from Deling, and kept sending messages that he was busy at work.

She barely cared. The first two dates were horrible. If this game continued, she would be subject to four more men's stumbling attempts at romance. She hoped that at least one of them would garner some kind of charm, but she was doubtful. She wished that she hadn't ever allowed this whole thing from the beginning, but of course she was drunk then, so it had seemed like a fine plan indeed.

"No." Quistis shrugged.

"Don't worry, we'll find you a good one." Xu said, glaring at a senior cadet who was chatting up Nida near the water.

Quistis did a double take. "Whatcha doin?" She asked smiling.

"Her swimsuit is preposterous. We have a dress code."

"She's wearing a one piece. It's modest, really."

"Well, I can see her nipples. And I'm sure there's a rule against that." Xu barked crassly.

"Xu, it's the beach. I can see your nipples, I can see everyone's nipples. That's why it's the beach and not church on Sunday." Quistis shook her head.

"Nipples?" Seifer laid back down on his towel. "_What the hell_ are you two talking about?" His skin was wet from the ocean. He smelled salty. Quistis wondered how he tasted.

Quistis laughed. "Xu says that she can see that girl's nipples through her swimsuit." She pointed her out subtly.

He narrowed his gaze. "So you can. Nice catch, Yiang. She has great tits."

"I should write her up." Xu huffed.

"Xu." Quistis whined.

"What?"

"Are you sure that you're mad at her? Sure you're not worried that Nida probably also sees her nipples?"

Seifer's eyes widened. "What _pray tell_ do you mean by that, Trepe?" He smiled at Xu.

Xu punched her fist into the sand. "Mind your fucking business, Almasy. This doesn't concern you."

"Looks like everyone's favorite rule-stickler has a crush on her inferior. That's probably against regulations." He wagged his finger at her.

"Did you hear that Quistis is going out on a date with a big shot from Deling City. I bet he has a huge cock." Xu said, face devoid of emotions.

Quistis shook her head, annoyed.

"I bet Nida is going to make that little flirt _sing_ when they leave here." Seifer said, not missing a beat.

Xu's face started turning red. "You don't give a fuck that Quistis is moving on?" She glared at him.

"I'm not worried about some guy that has stood her up 3 times already, no." He shrugged. "Are you concerned about how bright and perky and _young_ little Miss Nipples is? I'm sure Nida's noticed."

"Well, just you fucking wait Almasy, when it's my turn to pick—He's going to be so fucking perfect that Quistis will forget you ever existed." Xu glowered at him. Her hand twitched above where her gun holster was normally strapped. Quistis realized this little argument was getting dangerous.

"Oh." Seifer said, watching the couple. "There they go." They were walking towards a cabana that was set up on the beach closer to the town. "Think they're going to duck into the bathrooms for a quick fuck? I bet that's what they're doing."

"_I'll fucking kill you."_ She dove across Quistis towards his neck. Quistis quickly got in between them.

Seifer laughed heartily.

"Both of you. Act like adults. Hyne." Seifer snickered at her. She grabbed his ear. He yelped loudly. "There are cadets, _your students_, all over this beach. Do you really want them to see me treat you like a child?"

"You love bringing the pain, hmm, _Instructor_?" He said silkily. Instructor. Out of the mouth of anyone else, it was a title. When Seifer said it, it was a pet name that he had teased her with when he was in her class. She felt her lower belly clench.

Even back then, everything he said. Every teasing comment, every shot he took at her authority, had turned her on in a sick, sick way. He would write essays that were completely lewd and had nothing to do with the assigned curriculum. She remembered sitting at her desk, blushing over the things that he had turned in. About her whip. About bending her over the desk. About touching himself in his dorm at night to thoughts of her.

She had no idea then what he was capable of.

If she did, she maybe would have broken a few regulations herself.

"Behave yourself." She scolded him. She let go of him and settled back in the sand.

Xu leaned against her knees and rested her head against them. "Do you really think that they're together?" She was staring at the cabana.

"I don't know." Quistis said quietly to her.

Seifer looked guilty. He finally sighed. "You girls want some drinks? I'm buying." He stood up and offered a hand to each of them.

Xu eyed him. "Do you think I'm falling for this?"

"We'll go see what they're doing, and you'll have your answer."

Quistis eyed him. "You won't say anything to out her in front of him?"

"No." He shook his head. He sighed heavily again. "Sorry about being a dick, Yiang."

Xu took his hand and stood up. Quistis followed her lead. They grabbed their beach dresses and Seifer pulled a white t-shirt on.

They padded across the sand together. A group of Trepies were sitting at a table under an umbrella in front of the cabana. They whistled and catcalled at Quistis as she walked by them.

Xu reached out and tipped one of their drinks over. The whole table was covered in some kind of sticky, syrupy cocktail. One of the Trepies jumped up, cursing. Xu waved her hand at him over her shoulder. "Do something, pussy." She glared at them.

Seifer snorted loudly before taking a seat at the bar. "That was excellent." He said over his shoulder. He called out to the bartender. They all quickly gave him their orders.

Quistis scanned the bar. Nida and _Miss Nipples_ were sitting at a table ordering food.

Oh no. They looked cozy.

Xu sighed. "I don't know why I even cared to begin with." She looked down. "I mean, I'm the one that broke up with him. It's not like he owes me anything." It was an odd moment of vulnerability for her. Quistis held her hand.

The bartender set shots down in front of them. "We didn't order these." Quistis said.

"He did." The barkeep pointed to Seifer and walked away.

"Knock 'em back, ladies." Seifer smirked at them. "We don't care about him." Seifer said tipping his head towards Nida.

Xu grinned. "What the hell? Sure." She quickly took her shot.

Quistis smiled as she and Seifer followed her lead.

* * *

><p>They were plastered. Or at least Quistis and Seifer were. Xu knew how to hold her liquor; it was one of the benefits of being in the military for years.<p>

Music had started up at the cabana when the sun had set. She watched as Quistis and Seifer danced with each other. His hands were firmly on her hips. Every once in a while, he would lean in and whisper something in her ear. Quistis kept blushing.

Xu didn't like that at all. Quistis shouldn't even be talking to that dick anymore, he had said horrible things to her when they had ended their fucked up whatever-it-was.

Nida was standing by one of the doorways that led out to a patio on the water. He and Cynthia (Student No. 9534072, Senior Cadet) were talking away from the crowd.

He reached out and brushed her long red hair over her shoulder. Xu sipped her drink angrily.

He was so polite all the time. Up in command, he would call her ma'am. He always filled out his reports on time. He opened doors for her. He picked up some of the slack from Leonhart's treachery.

She hadn't known what to do when she had started feeling things towards him.

So she had left. It was easy.

But watching Nida hit on some young red-head was much more difficult.

Her head whirled a little. She felt sick.

Quistis walked off to the bathroom. Seifer came and sat down beside her.

Nida ran his hand down Cynthia's arm in the distance.

"Want something else, Yiang?" Seifer asked.

"No. I'm done, I think." She raised her voice over the music. She kept her eyes on Nida. He hadn't even noticed she was there. She had been staring at him all night and he didn't even know. He had zero tactical awareness. And that was something that normally would have bothered her about a man.

Except that it didn't.

"You should just forget about him." Seifer leaned in so she could hear.

"Is that your unsolicited advice for the day?" She snapped at him.

"It's just, it's hard when they don't love you back, you know?" He told her.

"What would you know about that?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

He glanced towards the bathrooms. "I know more than you think."

Shocked. She was completely shocked. He was talking about Quistis? He was in love with Quistis? Then why the fuck was he such an asshole to her? "I don't believe you." She said simply.

"You don't have to. I'm just saying, I know how you feel. It's hard to see someone you love with someone else. She's dating all of these guys, and I'm just 'sposto not feel anything about it." He slurred a little, a clear sign of how drunk he had gotten. "To just accept it."

She looked back towards Nida. He was gone. They had left. Quistis walked up to them, swaying slightly on her feet. She leaned against Seifer for support. He immediately put his arm around her.

"You guys wanna head back?" Quistis said, her hand firmly on Seifer's chest.

"Yeah. Let's get out of here." Xu jumped off of her stool. She walked ahead of them.

As they were leaving, the same Trepie group was sitting outside.

"Hey, Xu." Seifer called out to her. She turned to him.

He reached out and knocked the same guy's drink over from earlier. The guy jumped to his feet, and stomped away from them.

Xu laughed about it the whole way back to Garden.

* * *

><p>Quistis woke up and glared at the sunlight. She had gotten way too drunk the night before. She didn't even remember leaving the bar. She shifted slightly against the strong arms that were holding her in bed. She tried to sneak away to use the bathroom. Her bladder was begging.<p>

Seifer grabbed at her and pulled her back against him.

"Seifer. Let me get up." She whispered to him.

"Shhhh." He whispered into her ear.

She sighed and glanced down at her body. She was wearing pajamas. They hadn't had sex last night? That was weird.

She started kissing his shoulders and throat. He scrunched his eyes up. "Wake up, sleepy." She sang to him.

"…no." He said, sinking his head between their pillows.

"Well, at least let me up, I have to use the bathroom."

He reluctantly let go of her and burrowed further into the blankets. She noticed as she was leaving that Seifer was also wearing pajama bottoms. Wow. She couldn't believe they had just slept in the same bed with zero fooling around.

When she walked back in, she noticed he had sat up and had her cell phone.

"You have a new text message." He told her. He held the phone out to her and pulled one of her throw blankets around his shoulders.

He hadn't opened it, but the screen clearly said "New Message From: Ethan".

She read over it. He wanted to have lunch with her today. He promised he wouldn't stand her up again. She sighed and climbed back in bed with Seifer. She didn't want to go.

"Got a date?" He asked, opening his afghan clad arms long enough for her to bury her body against his chest.

"Yes. Lunch at that wings place near the docks." She glanced at the clock. 2 hours.

"Well, I'll get out of your way then." He started to leave.

She pouted when he climbed out of the bed. He tossed her blanket back to her. "Have fun, Trepe."

* * *

><p>It was a sports bar. A dimly lit one at that. She actually did like their wings though. They were the hottest ones in town. They sat in a corner away from everyone else.<p>

Ethan as it turned out, was actually pretty good looking. He had longer, shaggy brown hair that was pulled back and dark, almost black eyes. He had worn a button up shirt and a gray tie.

To a sports bar. She tried to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"How do you know Irvine?" She asked him, waiting anxiously for her food to arrive. She was starving after only consuming alcohol the night before.

"I work for the president." Irvine was the liason with the Galbadian government. He often was sent with teams to inspect their practices to make sure that they weren't trying to start another war.

At the bar, some people cheered at the game that was on the large television. He glared in their direction.

"That must be fulfilling work. You're a public servant." She said.

"Hardly. Sweetheart, I work for the president of the Galbadian government. It's not a charity."

She inwardly groaned. Why, Irvine? Why this guy?

He scooted around the booth to sit closer to her. "So, are we going to do this, or what?"

The waitress placed her wings in front of her. Her mouth watered. "What are you talking about?"

"I heard that you're lonely. Looking for companionship." He slid his hand up her thigh.

She removed his hand immediately and hissed at him. "I can guarantee you, that I am not looking to be fingered under a table at a bar. This is supposed to be a date. A _first date._"

He grumbled. "Are you serious? I spent the whole morning on a train."

She scooted away from him and pulled her wings towards her. She gave him a pointed look and began eating. He sighed loudly and scooted back around to his seat and his own food.

He was quiet for a couple of minutes.

She thought she heard a familiar laugh nearby. The Balamb team had scored a goal.

"Look, I'm sorry. Let's start over." He said. He reached out across the table and took her hand.

She narrowed her eyes at their hands.

"Afternoon, _Instructor._" Seifer plopped down in the seat beside her.

Her jaw dropped. Ethan glared. "Seifer. What are you doing here?"

"I'm always here on game days." He shrugged. She scooted a little bit into the booth to give him space to sit. It's not like this was going anywhere anyways.

"Look, Buddy, we're on a date." Ethan snapped at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Seifer looked apologetic, but he didn't bother getting up.

"Aren't you going to leave?" He glowered at him.

"You guys have a television all to yourself." He pointed at the flat screen that was suspended above Ethan's head.

"Just ignore him." Quistis said. "Tell me about your career."

"Well, I'm the president's personal assistant. I run his whole schedule." He bragged. "I'm also in charge of writing his speeches, and taking care of his PR."

Seifer reached between her legs. She didn't look at him.

"That must keep you busy." She stuttered only slightly.

"Very busy." Seifer inched his fingers under her skirt. He pushed her panties out of the way. He ghosted his pointer finger lightly over her clitoris. "There are days when I don't have time for meals. But Vinzer Deling is a great man."

"I've met him. He runs that country with an iron grip." Quistis tried to stay in the conversation. Seifer slid two fingers into her. He stared at the screen the whole time and looked completely innocent.

"The people need a strong leader. There would be chaos if they were allowed to make decisions for themselves. The masses are uneducated, Miss Trepe. They need big brother to watch over them." A waiter came around the corner. He appeared to trip over his own feet. A pitcher of water tipped into Ethan's lap.

"You imbecile!" He yelled at the waiter, and stood up angrily. He stomped to the bathroom to get cleaned up. The waiter ran towards the kitchen to hide.

Quistis quickly grabbed Seifer's hand that was up her skirt.

"Pissed?" He asked her. Quistis realized he had tripped the waiter.

"Hurry."

His eyes widened. He obviously expected her to be mad at him for invading on her date. And finger fucking her in a bar. "What?"

"Hurry before he comes back." She pulled his hand closer toward her and kissed his mouth hungrily. It was opportune that the booth that they were in was away from prying eyes.

Without hesitation, he started rubbing her just the way that she liked. He slipped a third finger into her, curled all three, and rocked his thumb against her. In less than a minute, she dropped her head to his shoulder and whimpered into his shirt. She kissed against his neck lazily. He pulled his hand away from her. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Anytime, Trepe."

She righted her skirt.

"Have fun on your date." He said as he started to get up from the booth. "My work here is done."

She smiled at him. "Come by tonight, okay?"

"Sure." He walked out of the bar.

Ethan returned minutes later looking pissed. "This bar is horrible. The food is too spicy. And that waiter ruined my suit."

She rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not really sensing a love connection between us."

He gaped at her. "Are you joking?"

"Nope." She paid for her food and left.

* * *

><p>Words: 3708<p>

Notes: Lol. Quistis was like "I don't want someone touching me in a bar." It's funny how the rules never apply to Seifer Almasy. And the stuff earlier in the chapter about Seifer writing her sexy essays—That totally happened, come on. But that's another story for another day. I have so many Quistis and Seifer stories rattling around in my head. So - What do you think?


	10. Revelation

**Chapter 10**

**Revelation** – _a showing or revealing of what is believed to be divine will or truth_

* * *

><p>Tuesday night…<p>

She pulled her knees closer to her chest on the couch. Winter was coming, and Seifer's room was chilly. She watched him as he walked over to his bed and pulled his large comforter off. He brought it to her on the couch and made sure that she was completely covered with it. She smiled at him and burrowed deeper into its warmth.

There was a knock at the door. Seifer jogged over, opened the door, handed the delivery boy money, grabbed the pizza box out of his hands, and then closed the door without saying a word.

"That was rude." She called out from her cocoon.

"I'm hungry, and I don't understand small talk. Here's the money, thanks for my pizza, bye." He grumbled at her.

She started to untangle herself from the blanket to get up.

"Stay there, Quis. I'll bring you some. Do you want a soda?"

She smiled brightly at him. "Yes."

He was the man of her dreams. Bringing her blankets and pizza. If he loved her, she would marry him.

He carried both glasses in one hand. In the other, he balanced two plates with two slices each. He set all of it down on his small coffee table and climbed back onto the couch with her.

They had a cheesy horror movie on. The blood spurts, evil rants, and horrific murders didn't seem to bother them. Quistis finished her pizza quickly, and then she attempted to put her cold fingertips directly onto Seifer's exposed side.

He took a swig of his soda, and pulled her blanket over his lap. He watched the movie, laughing occasionally at how goofy it was. She crept closer to him slowly.

He finished his pizza and set his empty plate on the table. When he leaned back against the couch, she pressed her cold hands against his ribs. He hissed at her. "Why?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"You're heartless." He glared at her. He put his warm hands over her cold ones.

"I'm sorry." She said, pouting at him.

"You're not."

"Forgive me!" She leaned up to kiss his lips.

He smiled at her and pulled her closer. "You're forgiven."

* * *

><p>Wednesday Morning…<p>

Quistis stood at her desk, sorting through her lecture material. It was her free period, so she always liked to get organized for the rest of the day.

She heard her door whish open.

She smiled to herself. Seifer.

Except when she turned around, it wasn't Seifer. It was Rinoa.

"Hey!" She called out to the other girl, trying to keep the disappointment from creeping onto her face.

"Hey, Quistis." Rinoa came in, dressed in her cadet uniform. She got to the point quickly. "I picked out my candidate."

Quistis raised her eyebrows. "Oh really?" She wasn't looking forward to it. She would be happy when the game was over. It had been nothing but a disaster.

"I think that you're going to like him." Rinoa said, grinning.

"Who is he?" Quistis moved some printed worksheets to a different pile.

"That's the thing; he wants to remain anonymous for a few days."

"Why?" Quistis tilted her head.

"He wanted me to give you this." Rinoa reached into her satchel and pulled out a letter that was sealed with her name written on the front of it. "He said he's going to send you a letter every day." She handed it to Quistis.

Quistis looked down at it. This was different.

"Well, I have to run—I have class in the training center next. So, I need to get going." She gave Quistis a brief hug. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Quistis called out to her. She sat down at her desk and stared at the note. It begged her to open it.

She pulled at the seal until it came open.

She unfolded the note.

_Quistis,_

_I know that this is strange, but I wanted you to know how I felt before you knew who I was. I have loved you for years. For an eternity. Every move I have ever made has been an attempt to be closer to you. I have fought to be near you. I don't want to hide my feelings for you any longer. When we meet again, know that I am undeniably yours. _

When we meet again? That meant that she already knew this man. They had met before.

She spent the rest of her free period wracking her brain for a clue. Who was he?

* * *

><p>Wednesday Night…<p>

Seifer kissed up her neck while she graded papers.

"Seifer." She warned him. She paused for a moment with her pen above the paper.

"It's night time, no more work." He said against her collarbone. He reached his hand up to the first buttons of her blouse. He skillfully popped one, two, and three buttons out of their confinements.

"I need to have these back to my class by tomorrow." She whined. Her breathing grew heavier.

"They can wait." He took the papers from her lap and set them on a table nearby. He got on his knees in front the couch and pulled her close to him. Her pelvis was flush against his hard torso.

He kissed directly under her chin, and drug his hot tongue along the vulnerable dip of her throat. In the narrow space between them, he hastily worked at the rest of her buttons. She rocked her hips eagerly against his hard body as her shirt fell to the floor. He smiled up at her.

He nipped with his teeth at the delicate exposed tops of her breasts. He ran his warm hand down her spine. He slid his other hand up under her skirt.

He teased her with his fingertips. She reached back and unfastened her bra. She let it fall from her shoulders. He placed searing open mouthed kisses along the sensitive flesh. His other hand traveled under her skirt. He pulled at her panties and slid them down her hips. She lifted herself briefly to allow their passage. During the moment of opportunity, he bunched her skirt up higher on her waist.

He slid his tongue across her nipple before place it completely in his mouth. Her exposed core jerked against his penetrating fingers. She sighed into the electric air that crackled around them.

He placed fiery, wet kisses across the lower parts of her stomach. She bit her lip. He grinned at her deviously.

"Seifer." She begged him. She was so worked up. She didn't want to be teased any more. He stood up.

She growled at him.

He smiled down at her and pulled her up off of the couch. He picked her up swiftly and carried her over to her bed. He tossed her onto it. She bounced a little against the mattress.

He crawled toward her from the bottom of the bed. He slid her thighs over his shoulders. And licked a long swipe across her hot center. She moaned deeply.

He sucked hard on her clitoris, making her hips press against him. She laced her fingers into his cropped hair and tried to urge him to be rougher with her. She could feel him smile against her. He nipped at her, and she arched off the bed. "Oh, please…" She whispered.

He plunged his tongue into her and brutally fucked her with it. She felt her mind slipping away from her. She pulled harshly at his hair, urging him to continue. She wrapped her thighs around his head.

She was so close. Seifer was so good at this. She felt his stubble graze against her delicate skin. A moan ripped out of her from deep in her chest.

He pulled back from her. She glared at him. His chin was covered in her fluids. He lunged up the bed and kissed her furiously, she hastily reached between them to unfasten his jeans. He slid everything down his hips quickly, he kicked them off the bed. And then he buried himself to the hilt into her.

He rocked his hips and drove back into her once. Twice. Three times.

She came. She whimpered into his mouth.

He wrapped her legs higher around his waist and fucked her roughly during her orgasm. He pounded his cock harshly into her. She locked her ankles around him to pull his deeper into her with each thrust. He groaned against her shoulder.

"It's so fucking good, Quistis. Your cunt is so tight. You fit me like a fucking glove." She felt the cord in her belly pull tightly again from his filthy dialogue. He was being so ferocious. Her body felt so full. His cock was so hot inside of her.

He started to lose his rhythm. She felt him stumble as he tried to fight for more control. She whispered into his ear, "Let go, Seifer. Come with me."

He cried out against her neck as he came. His hot seed sprayed into her, and her own climax echoed through her body once again. She felt boneless as her mind and body turned to mush. Her body rhythmically clamped down around him, milking him of every drop he had to offer. His skin was wet with sweat as he collapsed on top of her. She held him there, panting.

He rolled them over, pulling her on top of him. He kissed the side of her head, and pulled a blanket over their cooling skin. "That was perfect." He whispered to her.

"Yeah." She breathed him in.

* * *

><p>Thursday Morning…<p>

She found the next note in her mail slot the next morning. She had stopped by the faculty longue to grab some coffee. Her eyes instantly zeroed in on it among the countless Garden Memos.

She opened it in the elevator.

_Quistis,_

_What we have—you don't find that with many people. We are connected. We are electric. We are magnetic and perfect. Every moment that I am with you, I want to be closer to you. Deeper. I've never felt this way about anyone else. You're the one for me. I could live my whole life with you and never feel a want for anything more. I only need air, water, and you._

Her eyes widened.

Was this Seifer? Had he written this while she had passed out into a sex induced coma last night? She had always felt that the experiences that she shared with Seifer were unlike anything else she had ever felt with well... anyone.

Last night could have inspired this note. There was no doubt that she had felt absolutely everything in it while she had lain on top of him before sleep had whisked her away.

The doors dinged open.

She hoped and prayed. Please let it be him.

* * *

><p>She caught him on his way back from Alcaud Plains. His classes often met out there. He raised his eyebrows at her as he weaved his way through the milling crowd. She waited for him at the Garden directory.<p>

As he got close, she met his eyes and walked to the elevator away from him. He followed her.

She boarded before he could get there. The elevator shot up to the second floor. He quickly called it back down. Something in her eyes made him nervous… and hard. He was thankful for his loose uniform. He stepped aboard the elevator and quickly made his way to her classroom.

The doors whished closed behind him. He heard the lock click into place moments before he was pressed against the door. "Hello to you too." He whispered against her lips between kisses.

She shushed him, pulled him to her desk chair, and dropped to her knees in front of him. He glanced down at her and a groan ripped out of him before he could control it. Quistis Trepe was on her knees in front of him and was wearing her teaching uniform. How many times had he wanted this when he was a cadet? How many times did he have to sit at his desk well after they were dismissed to avoid her seeing him hard for her?

She quickly undid the drawstring on his loose pants. He lifted his hips so she could tug them down. She pulled his underwear with them. His cock was so hard. He was inches from her the warm, wet heat of her mouth.

She closed her mouth over his head.

Perfect woman. She was the perfect fucking woman.

He watched her lips glide over him. Her blonde hair was pinned up. He reached out and undid the clip. It fell around her and tickled his thighs as she sucked him off.

He eased it to one side of her head so that he could still see her mouth. He felt her tongue glide across the underside of his cock with every bob of her head.

His vision started to get fuzzy. Hot liquid pooled deep inside of him. He dropped his head back against her chair.

He covered his mouth to stifle the low moan that was involuntarily pouring out of him. He tried to pull himself together.

He looked back at her. She was watching him. He bit his lip. She took all of him into her mouth, never breaking eye contact. He bumped against the back of her throat and scalding liquid shot out of him.

His hips jerked uncontrollably toward her. She didn't whine or complain as he fucked her mouth through his orgasm. He sighed as she swallowed every drop.

She pulled away from him and ran her fingers through her messy blonde hair. He came out of her mouth with a pop. He leaned his head back against the headrest and watched her lazily.

"Hello." She said to him, leaning against her desk. She smiled at him, obviously proud of herself.

"Hey, Beautiful."

* * *

><p>Friday Evening…<p>

She was disappointed. She had waited on a letter all day... and nothing. Although, Seifer had been busy all day. He was running the semiannual PT exams. He had been running drills all day with cadets. Maybe he forgot to write her another note. She opened her dorm door. She walked in and turned the light on.

And there it was.

A couple feet out from the door there was a note on the floor. He had obviously slid it under the door for her.

She pushed the door-close button on her door and quickly ripped the note open.

_You're amazing. Sometimes I like to look at you and imagine what it would be like for you to call me yours. There was a time when I thought that you didn't want me. You had spurned my advances, and I was heart broken. _

_And then one day, we were on the elevator together. And I knew that I couldn't ever give up on you. As I reached my floor, I stepped away from you. But I could have stayed there for forever. _

_When you're ready to officially begin our lives together, I'll be waiting for you in the quad, my love._

_-Yours_

Her eyes watered.

It was him. There was no way that it could be anyone else. The elevator? That was the night after their break up that they had reconnected. After Squall and Rinoa's engagement party, he had pressed the emergency stop button and they had rekindled their familiar affair.

He was waiting for her.

She quickly ran out of her room. She walked briskly the whole way there. She was still wearing heels, a pencil skirt, and a blouse, but she wasn't waiting another second.

The quad was dark. It was well into the evening hours. She hoped that he hadn't waited long. She had expected to receive the letter in her mail box again, so she had spent the better part of the evening in the teacher's longue grading the papers that she had put off earlier in the week for him.

She was out of breath by the time she arrived. She felt panicked. She needed to see him. She needed this to be real. She glanced at her reflection in the fountain. Her hair was a mess; it had worked its way out of the intricate bun she had placed it in earlier that day. She was sure that she had twisted her ankle on the way there. Every step, it twinged a little bit. But it would all be worth it. He was worth it.

She stopped to catch her breath. She reached up and pulled the pins out of her hair. It tumbled to her shoulders in waves. She tried to stay calm as she turned the corner.

Under a lamppost in the distance, she saw a shadowy figure. Behind his silhouette, fireflies twinkled across the vast Alcaud Plains. The setting sun was casting red and purple hues across the sky.

She ran her hand nervously through her hair and descended the steps. "Hello?" She called out to him.

He began to turn toward her.

It was going to be Seifer. She knew that it would be him. She needed him.

No one else would ever be enough.

He was all that she had ever wanted.

No one had ever made a dent in her heart the way that he had.

He stepped into the light.

Her heart shattered.

The notes. They were from Adrian Cullman. Adrian Cullman had sent them to her. She felt her stomach plummet in her body.

Adrian Cullman was her not-so-secret admirer.

"Adrian?" She had to say his name to confirm it. The fact cemented in her brain. He wasn't Seifer.

He stood there under the light with a single red rose. He was wearing a dark sweater and jeans. It looked strange on him. She had only ever seen him in lab coats. Behind him, a beautiful picnic was laid out. A bottle of wine was resting in a bucket of ice.

Why was she letting this happen again? Why had she let her mind think that the notes were from Seifer? Her healed wounds felt like they were ripping open.

He smiled at her. "Quistis. I'm happy that you came." He whispered to her.

She tried not to break down. That would come later. But for now, she needed to be strong. She hated herself for what she was going to have to do.

"Are you surprised?" He asked her, stepping closer. He took her hand.

She withdrew from him. "Yes, I am." She sat on a bench nearby. "Adrian. In your last letter, you mentioned something about the elevator. What did you mean by that?"

"It was a year ago. I thought that you didn't like me. Then one day, I was running late, and I could see you up ahead. The elevator doors were closing. I called out, and you held the door for me. After that, I met you there everyday. I knew that I couldn't give up on being with you. You're the one for me, Quistis. And I'm in love with you." He blurted out. "I have been for a long time."

Mystery solved. She had hoped that she would meet Seifer here. That he would confess his love to her, and they would live happily ever after. Maybe they would get an apartment together in Balamb and commute. She had fantasized about it for days.

Instead, Adrian Cullman had read into some insignificant event. He was obsessed with her and saw a regular act of kindness as a profession of love.

It wasn't his fault though. After all, she hadn't ever been clear with him.

She pushed her hair out of her face. "Adrian. We need to talk."

He shook his head and kneeled on the ground in front of her. He met her eyes. "I know that this must be confusing for you. But I just love you so much."

"Adrian. The letters, the picnic. This whole week has been so romantic. You're a great guy." She hated herself in this moment. She hated hurting him.

He smiled at her.

"But I don't feel that way about you." His smile disappeared in an instant. "I've never told you that before. I always told you that I was busy, that I was sick, or overworked. But it wasn't ever true. I just wasn't interested."

"You lied?" He said quietly.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't realize that I was perpetuating this. I'm so sorry." She looked down at the ground.

"But I love you." He whispered.

"The truth is that you don't even know me, Adrian."

"You haven't ever given me the chance." He raised his voice a little. His eyes glistened.

"It takes more than this to be with someone. This is so romantic, Adrian, but it's not enough." She nervously fiddled with her hands. "Couples need a natural magnetism. The ones that last have a undeniable pull toward each other that they both feel."

"I feel that way."

"But I don't." His bottom lip quivered. "It's an innate feeling. It's the universe's way of telling us who we're meant for. When you meet them, you can't think of anything else. Your whole world crumbles away, and then they are the only one that matters. Because when you're with who you're meant for, you know that you would give up everything for them." Her own eyes water.

"But I would. I would give up everything for you, Quistis." He pleaded with her.

"But I wouldn't. And that's not fair to you. I can't love you that way. One day, you're going to meet someone who can. And if you don't stop chasing after me, you're not going to give them a chance. And you're going to miss out on being happy. I don't want that for you." She shook her head at him. "I'm sorry for hurting you this way. I know how horrible it feels."

He wiped his eyes. He was silent for a couple of moments. She thought about just leaving, then he finally spoke up. "So what does this mean?"

"That you're going to go find her. She's out there. I promise." His eyes glossed over at her words. He sniffled a little. And then he smiled.

"Thank you, Quistis."

"Goodbye, Adrian."

She stood up and walked out of the quad without looking back.

* * *

><p>When she got back to her dorm, she didn't turn the lights on. She walked through the dark to her couch and sat down.<p>

Her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

She sucked ragged air into her lungs.

Her whole body shook as she broke down.

She covered her mouth.

She had wanted so badly for it be him.

And it wasn't.

Why would she keep torturing herself like this? Why couldn't she just accept the facts?

Her door opened. Seifer walked in and flicked the lights on. His hair was wet. He had obviously just showered.

"Today was horrible." He whined, tossing his keys and phone down on her desk. "I'm so tired. Those kids are monsters."

He met her eyes. "Oh Hyne, are you alright?"

She stood up and walked over to him. "Kiss me."

"Quistis, you're crying." He brushed her hair over her shoulder.

"I need you." She begged him. "Please." She grabbed his shirt and pulled him desperately toward her.

He picked her up and carried her to her bed. He laid her down. Sobs continued to pour out of her body. He kissed her gently. He kissed her cheeks and wiped the wetness from them with his thumb.

She pulled her shirt off.

She crashed her lips into his and reached between them to unbutton his pants.

"No, Quistis." He said instantly.

"You don't want me." She whispered.

"You're so upset." He pulled her hands from his pants. "What happened?"

"You don't—"

"I want you, but I'm not having sex with you when you're like this." He snapped at her. "It wouldn't feel right."

She sat up at the edge of the bed and cradled her head in her hands.

He sat behind her and kissed across her bare shoulder. "Tell me what happened."

She shook her head. "I can't."

He nodded and pulled her closer to him. "What can I do?"

She kicked her shoes off, stood up and unzipped her skirt. She grabbed a large shirt from her dresser, and then climbed back in bed with him. "Stay with me." She wrapped his arms around her.

"I can do that." He tossed his sneakers into the floor and climbed under the covers with her.

* * *

><p>Words: 4,047<p>

Notes: Oh ya, I broke 4k with this chapter. That makes me proud. I know that this one took a while. The truth is that I was really excited about writing the final chapter, so I had spent all of my time thinking about it. And then I realized that I had to write this in between part. But I think that it ended up being okay. I loved that Quistis completely described what she felt with Seifer when she was turning Adrian down. I enjoyed writing that part. Although, I do think that it was hard to try to keep Quistis from being the bad guy in that scenario. He was being sweet to her and she had to break his heart. It was her only choice. The first scene was completely inspired by my own marriage (the one with the horror movies, pizza, and blankets). I am the worst person in the world—I have to put cold hands on my husband. I always know that I'm going to get in trouble for it, but I cannot stop myself. It's mean, and I know it. Let me know what you think. What do you think is next? There's maybe two more chapters, I think. Maybe 3. I can't believe I'm actually going to finish writing a story.


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